Calderone's Ethiopian Adoption

A New Blog - A new start

2011-07-16T09:32:00.004-04:00

I finally started a new blog. It still needs to be personalized and updated but here goes.

After a year off from blogging that included 2 more trips to Ethiopia, thousands of miles in America travelling in a car with my 2 children and a non-profit that is slowly coming up off the ground I have a lot to talk about.

I have changed the focus from Adoption and Ethiopia to just include the adventures of my life. Who am I? What will I do when I grow up? Those are things that are changing from day to day- so jump on board my new start and enjoy the ride... http://fendesha.blogspot.com

and as always... I hope your life's journey is an adventure you enjoy and others will remember!

Time To TAKE OFF....A New Adventure Awaits!

http://fendesha.blogspot.com

Thank you for Hanging in there..

2010-12-15T23:34:00.001-05:00

Our lives have taken an interesting twist in the past few months and thus a new blog has not yet been designed as promised. Thank you for hanging in there with us.

My brother in-law that we are very close to (one of our children's god-fathers) has been diagnosed with a terminal disease. We as a family are adjusting to this news. Although -how one ever adjusts to "planning" on the loss of a loved one that is close to ones own age, is a mystery to me. I do believe however that despite what I thought-I'm excited to say that we will be heading off to Norway for the holidays soon- I'm just saddened by the reason ..........and even more so that we will not be bringing our children because we sat on their refinalization-and as of today-they do not yet have their passports. Although- It is exciting to think of having time with "just" us again...

Our business was keeping my dear husband out of town most of this past fall- and when he was here-he was primarily focused on work. Because of this- in the past three months- personally I like to believe that I have grown in strength as a mom. Still far from perfect-laugh. But I must admit- I became quite the competent family member-laugh.

My husbands travelling makes me think of those families with loved ones in the military on extended assignments and how strong and creative the resident parent must be. My heart goes out to them this holiday season and I am no longer just thankful for the freedom that is provided for my volunteer work as I can go freely back and forth to Africa and Europe simply because of the color of my passport--but now-also I think to the sacrifices their families are making for that freedom. Thank you....

As for me and my personal growth, I've been focusing on the details of running my non-profit. Now that I've seen some success and an interest in it-I'm truly inspired. So, although I am not a web-developer- I'd love it if you'd check out www.hayelkidsaid.org. It's been up and running for only a couple of days now and it's not perfect but I'd say it's not bad for a first try!

I'm also working with a friend to create a travel company in Ethiopia. We are in the process of buying a vehicle as I write this and I'll be heading out this spring for an un-determined amount of time to work on both the non-profit and our travel company. Yes, my return to Ethiopia this time is for an extended amount of time and the length is as of now un-determined. Planning an extended move while all of the above pieces and parts of our lives are also moving around is proving quite challenging.

The name of the Travel company will be Exodus Travel. We've had about 10 customers in the past month or so and things are going well- although it's not yet with out it's hick-ups and we are still in the licensing process I remain hopeful. I can't wait to say more about this in the future.

So many transitions, so little time. I hope to create a new blog -but I am looking for one that is not blocked in Ethiopia at this time and blogspot is. It seems to me that it would be exciting to blog about my impending departure from America to slowly becoming an Ethiopian Resident. So many questions yet-to be answered.

So, for those of you watching our lives- I hope this post keeps you hanging on. Someday soon- when the "dust settles" around us- I will start again.

Thank you for all of your support both those silent readers and public ones. It's been nice to share our journey. BTW - our kids- they are sooo amazing and the highlight to each and every one of my days!

Truly they are my sunshine in these otherwise cloudy winter skies...

End of this blog and a long journey home

2010-10-13T12:12:00.001-04:00

On my last trip to Ethiopia I learned a lot about my children's life from their birth family. It would not be possible for me to explain the emotions around meeting their family members, seeing where my children were born and learning of their day to day life before they came to us. It felt like the birth family meeting I thought I would have-but did not last year. I now feel a sense of closure or transition that I had anticipated but did not when we first brought them home.

Although I am saddened by the path my children had to take to become ours, I am and will forever be grateful to their family for making the tough decisions they did-for allowing their children to leave their loving arms and find mine/ours. Their Birth family and Adoptive families hearts all ache over their journey but rejoice and are excited about their new path.

With this closure has also come the decision to end this blog. The focus of our lives is no longer on "adoption" but that of becoming a family and the ordinary challenges that go with it. Together we are working and teaching our children to lead productive and happy lives-with any hope that will be through example. We will continue to balance their Ethiopian heritage and their American Citizenship. Our adoption was complete a year and 6 months ago. Sometimes it seems like yesterday-but mostly it feels like an eternity ago- a lifetime ago. The first year was difficult-more difficult than I ever imagined it would be- and it is still challenging. But eventually, somehow- we became parents and our children also worked hard and are now very much our little Ethio-American children.

Our life will likely take on the form of a new blog-full of adventure and unexpected twists and turns along with the expected ones- when I figure it out I'll post the link for a week before closing the blog officially.

Thank you to all of you who have followed us through this trying and exciting time of our life!

Hugs, Peace and Love to you all,
Kimberly, Denis, Habtamu, Debritu and Geneva...

Addis and modernization of my Bel-Air neighborhood

2010-10-08T09:59:00.002-04:00

My intimate relationship with travelling back and forth to Ethiopia is now a young 2 and half years old- my interest in the country much older. We have both grown and changed so much in this short time. She has modernized herself in unexpected. She is forever surprising me- this year with seat belt laws, cell phone and driver usage laws, rules around “zebra” crossings or pedestrian ways. She is exhibiting improved roadways and many more cars. There are way more cars and with them traffic- it’s actually difficult to go near bole or around bole these days and the roads around bole are also congested with traffic. There is traffic school for anyone looking to obtain their license. Her schools are facing stricter regulations and consistent check lists, private online colleges have been closed, there is a data network for the cellular users, there are ATM machines outside of the banks, the internet is faster overall, there are pedestrian overpasses in Arat kilo that are not yet being used but are an eye-sore when approaching the circle from piazza or from Amist Kilo. They block the beautiful monument in the center. There are new busses and more tractors being imported for commercial and public use. It is green- very very green- and not the dusty polluted city I am use to seeing in March. This cleanliness is due to the amount of rain though and not a change. More homes are using filtered water, there are more banks- many of those are privately held- not gov’t. They are enforcing copyright and piracy laws so the old music stores and video stores that used copies or rips of the videos or music have closed or are closing. There was electricity and water for almost my entire visit- a complete but absolutely delightful experience might I also mention-laugh. It’s amazing to see all of the changes happen in such a short 1.3 years. Ethiopia feels like she is growing with me. So many changes, such a short amount of time- it’s difficult to list them all. I won’t get into the changes I have made- but let’s just say that if who I am today-met who I was 3 years ago- it’s likely we’d decide to be acquaintances instead of good friends-laugh.

I stay in the Bel-Air part of Addis. Hotels and more western homes are popping up everywhere between my visits.

This road did not exist on my first visit. It was dirt, piles of rocks and the road we live on was a dead end. Now it's practically a highway.

There's even parking spaces, Zebra crossings and gorgeous sidewalks.

A thank you from LemLem's Children.

2010-10-08T07:02:00.001-04:00

A picture of some of the children in Addis allowed to stay in school this year due to our fundraising efforts in August. There are more children in Axum to be selected and a few missing from school this picture that will be attending in Addis. It's amazing the difference in peoples lives you can make when we work together!

Thank you-Thank you-Thank you!!!!!!

(some of the above children are temporarily under our care until their sponsors can assist them again- if that happens the money from them will transfer to additional needy students).

3 more...

Eldana, LemLem (the accountant- coincidently,yes,she has the same name as the school) and I making the really hard but exciting decisions...

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

C-ya in the fall.

2010-09-04T14:38:00.000-04:00

It's unlikely I will update my blog while I'm away- but will hopefully return in October with lots of fun stories.
Hope you all have a Happy-Entutatash, Eid al-Fitr Eid and Meskel.

Fundraising results - preliminary

2010-09-03T08:35:00.000-04:00

The preliminary results are in for this fundraising effort. We have managed to directly affect approximately 20 students with our efforts.

(We might see a change or two when I am with the accountant but for now here's what I think the division of money it's going to look like).

20 students directly affected as follows:
15 unsponsored children are being kept in school this year at 1/2 rate.
5 children received their tuition from their existing sponsors (people who visited the school in past but did not sponsor through an organization sent me their money).

as an added bonus- a few people (I've heard 8-but have not confirmed) discovered the good work of COEEF and offered permanent sponsorship to some of the un-sponsored children at LemLem.

THANK YOU all! I will write more when I return home regarding the details.

A summer 2010 summary

2010-08-31T14:15:00.000-04:00

So, before I leave the kids are napping and I thought I'd take a moment and update you all on how they are doing. After all- with the trip coming up -it'll be a month before I can really talk about the kids again-laugh.

This summer started out easier than last summer- we didn't do as much travelling this year and we stay very local to where we live. Since Debritu can walk and talk now doing things with her is very enjoyable. We actually have also seen much less of our friends than we usually do-we've been home a lot this year.

The beginning of the summer Habtamu had many sports camps and swimming lessons. Debritu is still to small for many of these things so she's been with me mostly. After H got out of class and took a nap we went and did things like the park or going to get an ice cream or swimming at the local lakes together so she really didn't miss out on much.

The weather has been amazing so staying close to home has been easy. We visited the Aquarium for the first time with visiting uncles. We spent an amazing week in Vermont- it was the only week that rained this summer but it was delightful none the less-laugh. We also hosted a Fresh Air child for a week and had the most delightful time.

On the parenting side of things- this summer has been much better than last summer- less exhausting. But it did come with a different kind of challenge. Denis started to travel a lot again. I'm psyched for the business-totally psyched! But it also means that the kids and I have been flying solo for a good part of it. All I can say is thank goodness for my mother and the fact that although she works and I give her all the space she needs- with out here living in our home- I'd have lost my mind. Laugh. She has given me some time here and there to get things that really need to be done completed.

3 weeks ago-Habtamu broke his collar bone and it's been down hill since. He's feeling better this week and it's given me a chance to get a bit bummed out. There's something about knowing he is going to be just fine that allows me to break down now-laugh. I've always been like that- the one to fall apart once everything is over and done with. The weather has been fantastic and for the past 3 weeks he has been glued to me. I love his company but since he can't do anything and my company has amounted to what feels like nagging- "don't do this, stop that, honey-you're going to hurt yourself" - even I'm tired of hearing myself say it... ugh.

Debritu has been next to impossible lately with her temper tantrums. Screaming- No, I don't want to. Her favorite thing to say is "shut up habtamu". All of us in the house cannot wait until she's grown out of this phase she is in! I know that she got this horrible saying from me-but the fact that she can't let it go-makes me crazy. What do they say- if you don't like the behavior wait 2 weeks- they change so fast. Let me tell you- if she doesn't change in the next two weeks I'm going to build her a nice barn that she can sit in when she's being her usual not so-joyful self these days.. ha ha. I feel like my grandmother "if you don't have anything nice to say-please don't say anything at all". Habtamu has taken to .. Mom D's doing this, D's done that, mooooooommmm D.... ya ya ya ya...

Now the little tattle tale Habtamu needs constant watching to keep himself from re-injuring himself this week and Debritu is exasperating me with her "shut ups" to say the least. In all sincerity though- if H was telling mom everything I did from peeing to touching something I'd be telling him to shut up too-laugh.

Emotionally for me- I need a break and I can't wait for it. It's so funny to tell people when they call from Ethiopia and ask- what do you want to do-and I tell them sleep. I just want to sleep. So-this Sunday can't come soon enough for me. 2 days after I leave- is the first day of pre-school and also the day he is cleared for "full activity". Thank goodness.

I am hopeful that next summer we can manage through with out somebody getting seriously hurt, juggle den's travelling and my full time work. I'm sure there will still be a small adventure, perhaps a hick up. I'm just thinking that I'd like it to not be an injury.

So- see ya "next year" in 2003 by Ethiopian standards and I look forward to coming back-resting. Missing my wee ones beyond my expectations and anxious to get back to work.

Hugs and love- me

3 weeks to "be free", to let my spirit wander at leisure..

2010-08-30T15:23:00.000-04:00

Hi all,

I've been struggling with keeping my blog interesting this year. Partially because I barely have time to stay on top of the news as I'm with our children most of the time. I don't want to blog about my children's lives all the time but little seems to happen these days outside of them.

So, I find myself 6 days outside of my 3rd and shortest trip to Ethiopia and notice that outside of fundraising I've barely mentioned the trip. I looked back at some of my older posts and have to say- packing is the easiest it's ever been for this trip-laugh. I'm throwing some clothes in a bag-grabbing my Malaria meds (out of the medicine cabinet) for my out of capital travel , finding my proof of Yellow fever in the piles that have taken over my nice neat home, grabbing my passport and printing my ticket.

Most of my planning time has been spent gathering a few gift and preparing hubby to manage the 3 weeks he'll have to juggle the kids with out me. My vagabond spirit is something Den and I knew would continue when we had a family-it's exciting to see that we are actually able to work with it-laugh. Having my husbands support and understanding is wonderful when it comes to my travel needs-laugh.

So many people have asked me why I am going back. Frankly and simply stated-my restless spirit has an incredible need to travel. With out a regular trip to the airport or the freedom behind the wheel of my car- or a chance to let my spirits roam- I am miserable. So, yes, I'm a mom, with young kids and to all of you questioning-here's my answer. My trip this year is a selfish one. I don't have any big "volunteer" plans, or big goals to reach. I simply have a need to "be free", to let my spirit wander at leisure.

The itinerary is as follows:

Visit with friends and family and celebrate the new year. aka-Yumm- Tibs, Tibs, Tibs and hugs galore!
Travel south for a week and visit some places to relax aka- read a book and go swimming and find some quiet time. I laugh that I am going to Ethiopia to find "quiet" ha ha. But when compared to the zoo I now live in.. it will seem quiet-haha.
Come back to Addis - eat as much injera as possible while having dinner with lots of different friends so they don't see how much I am eating. ohh- coffee too... lots and lots of coffee.
Spend some time playing and laughing with the children at Selamta and visiting at LemLem School. aka-exercise after eating-laugh.

If I'm lucky I'll be able to fit in teaching a couple of English night classes while there. I may even have the privilege of attending the graduation of some of my first students (at the practical language school near the piazza). They survived my first teaching assignment and happen to be graduating while I am there. So, hopefully I'll be able to see them (insert opportunity to cry here).

I'm certain the trip will contain an adventure worth talking about, some humbling and gracious moments- like the graduation above and providing the money to the children that many of you have sent me.

But mostly- this trip is about taking time- time to sit,time to cry and time to hug the people I love that live there. I hate that they cannot get visa's and visit me and that it's been so long since I've seen them. I want to hug the 10th grade students at lemlem (my old 8th grade students) and tell them how proud I am of their most recent scores on their national exams. And I want to walk in the dust covered streets (or mud) and negotiate the purchase of a goat or sheep in Amharic for the family for dinner. I'll probably have to visit the blind man again to get a decent price-laugh.

I want to feel alive- something I thought parenting would do a little bit of-but it has not-actually it's quite the opposite-ha ha. Having a family makes me feel a little like a trapped animal-and trapped is not something I can live with. For some people - family is a way to "finding a home" for me that is not the case. The road has always been my home. I feel more beaten up and personally defeated than ever in my life. I need to feel the compassion that Ethiopia and her day to day life there evokes in me. I want to simply see the people that in the past 3 years have become such a distant but daily part of my life. This does not mean that I don't love my children, in fact taking time from my family only makes me love and appreciate them more.

My trip this year is simply to say- I love you and have not and will not forget you- and that's all. Perhaps, I am saying that to Ethiopia- perhaps a bit to myself too. After all- 3 weeks at an Ethiopian's pace is really equivalent to a week at an Americans.

Hugs and peace

Teddy's latest...

2010-08-27T14:19:00.001-04:00

Zaire

2010-08-24T17:31:00.001-04:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Our Fresh Air Experience

2010-08-23T10:31:00.000-04:00

We had the most amazing Fresh Air experience with our host son "Z". At 6 years old this brave boy got on a bus-leaving all of his family, friends and the environment he knows- to spend a week with a family he had never met. Although the week was not with out homesickness and missing mom moments - he was able to rally his emotions and very much enjoy himself.

Last week- while Z was visiting with us. We visited a farm, went to the drive in, and beat me when we played mini-golf. He spent a lot of time looking around our house and marveling at the back yard. He attended a sports camp each morning, rode a horse, we had several picnics in the park. He played at an arcade, slept outdoors, listened to music by a fireplace while cooking s'mores. We went to the aquarium, to the local lake and to a baseball game. He tried out fishing with my mom and we went to a 3D I-Max film. "Z" played a ton in the back yard, swam in our neighbors pool. Z absolutely loved that our front door of our home opened directly to the outdoors as his home is in a large apartment complex in the city. "Z" loved our mailbox and would go with us to get our mail each afternoon. For a couple of the nights our neighbors were over for dinner and on one of them we made his favorite meal- fried chicken and macaroni salad. Although Chicken night was earlier in the week-he was still talking about how we all made chicken last night.

On a phone call with his mom yesterday- he asked "mom can I come back to this Fresh Air family next year?". This surprised me as it is from the same boy who after 2 nights from home was ready to pack his bags and never leave his mother again. With my eyes whelmed up with tears- I left the room to leave him some time to talk with his mom.

The sad moment arrived this morning where we brought "Z" back to the bus for his return trip home. On the way to the bus I asked him-"Z" what was your favorite part of this trip? Of all the things you did what was your favorite thing? Z's answer? "Swimming in the neighbors pool."

As for the rest of us- we're appreciating our lives here outside of the realities of inner-city life just a little bit more today and of course we're recuperating from an amazing week-with one very special little boy.

Nap anyone?

Chaos... total Chaos this week...

2010-08-20T16:33:00.001-04:00

The past week has been a very very challenging week for our family- it included some of the most joyous moments in our lives and some of the saddest we've had in a while....

On Sunday, one of Denis' cousins (in his 40's) being admitted to the hospital on Sunday, he dies mid week. He had a rough life fighting alcoholism and has not been doing well for many years. Death is a weird thing like that, no matter how the person lived their life and what thoughts or judgement you may pass as the years go by- when death knocks - you feel very sad and indeed helpless in some ways with helping the family members. That's the 3rd death in less than a year for Den.. very difficult indeed.

On Monday the most amazing boy arrived at our home for a weeks vacation with us. We enrolled as a host family to the Fresh Air fund (www.freshair.org) and I can't say enough about this organization or the child that arrived. We have fit in an amazing week around the other challenges surrounding us. I think with out the "need for fun" distraction he provided us with- this week would have been much different in so many ways.

Habtamu broke his collar bone on Tuesday, so he and I spent much of the day at the doctors office and then watching movies. Thank goodness my brother in-law Jim extended his trip - he was a blessing to have here so I didn't have to bring the other two kids to the doctors. He took them swimming instead and thus the beginning of the kid juggle for the week-laugh.

On Wednesday Denis business trip was cancelled and I rejoiced! Mom's job hours increased again- something she needs- but we sure could have used the help this week of all weeks. We also kind of laid low. Mom tried to take Z (fresh air boy) fishing but the fishing line was a mess-and thus the trip was as well-laugh. We made fried chicken with the neighbors for Z- who was very excited as this is his favorite food and had a fire outside in the firepit- to listen to the crickets, other noises and to hear the fire "snap crackle and pop". Having a fresh air child in our home has really opened our eyes to city life vs. sub-urban life. This polite young man manages to politely talk of guns and knifes at school-and the death of young men (he's 6). Amazing.. my 4 year old talks about how "fast he is" and then Z jumps right in and can be a young kid here.. Amazing..

Thursday- Habtamu's on the mend, I lost Z's inhaler- oops, Z and I go out, family wake for cousin... dinner with different neighbors. I tried to grill... and we ended up all eating hockey puck hamburgers and burned hot dogs...laugh.

Today is friday- and so far so good. We did sports, the beach and going to a ball game tonight. Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday... What an adventure... I'm sooo ready for a nap now-laugh...

Well- my mental break is over.. Hugs to you all- and if you've ever thought of hosting a Fresh Air child... It has been a wonderful experience so far.

Thank you Thank you Thank you

2010-08-19T08:04:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone,
I can't say thank you enough for all of you who have helped us get so close to our goal. We only have 1600.00 more dollars to earn to reach the $5000.00 mark. The school is very surprised and gracious to all of the help this money is going to provide toward keeping these kids in school.

My apologies for not updating daily. My son broke his collar bone and we have a wonderful 6 year old visitor from Fresh Air (www.freshair.org) this week. It's been an amazing week for our family- and you'll hear more from me next week.

Thanks again and please- continue the hard work of letting people know. WE Are ALMOST THERE!!!

Hugs and love- Kimberly

Urgent call to Action - assist the children at LemLem School

2010-08-07T15:25:00.003-04:00

This week I got off the phone with my host sister Eldana who is the principal at the school I teach at in Ethiopia and she told me a very sad story.

Due to the economic down turn in the US -Some of the 150 children who are currently sponsored at her school will not receive their scholarships this year. They are trying to work with the Ethiopian Government, (and other organizations the children are sponsored through, and with the parents of the children to keep each and every one of those children in school this year). The school is asking the parents who are struggling to pay 1/2 of the kids tuition and they are working with the external resources above noted to obtain the remaining of the monies. It is unlikely that the parents will be able to pay and it is more likely that the children will not be able to attend.

I ask you to forward this story to every one you know. I would like to see American's step up and help other Americans who are trying to help others but find themselves out of work or unable to keep their commitments to these children. I'm asking for a 1 time donation of any monies you may be able to afford to assist me with this goal. Many of them I have personally taught and some are currently receiving the highest grades in their class. I do not want these children shown the door due to lack of financial ability to attend school!

I personally would like to raise $5,000 or as much of it as I can in the next 30 days. At $125.00 per student or half the tuition for the year we can together keep 40 of these children in school this year. That's 40 less kids that will be rejected the ability to continue to be educated in a country where education is the only way to a better life. I depart on the 5th of September.

If anyone would like to verify this information- please call me at 617.304.2537 and I will put you in touch with anyone you feel the need to speak with.

I will be working early this week to determine an ability to send money using a credit card and tax deductible options for you all. If you don't care about the tax deduction please feel free to make the check out directly to me. Otherwise I'll do the best I can to find ways to make this work for everyone willing or able to do anything they can to help these children so near and dear to my heart.

If you are not comfortable with my request- but still would like to help-a great organization that is 503c approved- that you can still help Ethiopia's students through is www.COEEF.org.

If you can help at all- please send any money, checks anything you can to:
Kimberly Calderone
17 Gregoire Drive
Marlborough, MA 01752

I will personally deliver the monies directly to the school and verify the receipt of it to all who can assist us.

with thanks in advance and with much urgency,
Kimberly Calderone

Surprise- you have a goat and cake delivery

2010-08-04T12:01:00.000-04:00

I had a goat and cake sent to the family in Ethiopia that I live with through Sitota.

Culturally it's strange when you send gifts. For example-instead of receiving front end pictures of the goat they send hind-end pictures so you can evaluate the size and value of your delivery.

The family was very surprised to have a goat and cake delivered to their door-laugh. I only wish I could have been there to see their faces when their surprise gifts arrived.

Here is the goat and cake:

first day of preschool

2010-08-03T10:02:00.002-04:00

little Debritu started preschool today. She was so excited. Mom on the other hand is a little lost as she fins herself without children this morning.

haven't figured out how to rotate photos on my phone before uploading! Oh well-For now- may I suggest that you tip your head to the left while viewing this picture (laugh).

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Halie Selassie I and Bob Marley- War

2010-08-02T10:25:00.000-04:00

"Until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war and until there are no longer first-class and second-class citizens of any nation, until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes. And until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race, there is war. And until that day, the dream of lasting peace, world citizenship, rule of international morality, will remain but a fleeting illusion to be pursued, but never attained.... now everywhere is war." Halie Selassie I - (Emperor of Ethiopia from 1930- 1974).

This quote was made famous by Bob Marley -in the song "war".

People of Ethiopia

2010-08-01T08:04:00.001-04:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

End of July - Reflection

2010-07-31T19:25:00.003-04:00

This evening we ended a wonderful family day and an said goodbye to a busy month with dinner at Fasika.

It's the end of July-and what a crazy month it has been. I can't help but feel like June was a year ago- not a month ago. Was June really only 31 days ago???

We've celebrated birthdays, traveled as a family for a week, daddy's been away for a couple of weeks for work, family has visited from California and Norway. The kids have been so good through all of this mayhem- sure we've had behavioral challenges and mommy and daddy are both burnt out a bit. I just re-read some of my blog entries from last year and noticed that I don't feel nearly as exhausted and overwhelmed as it seems I did then.

Next month has an equal share of adventures for us:

Tomorrow I am presenting on Ethiopia at 10am in the morning -tonight I'm cramming for the presentation.
Debritu begins attending pre-school on Tuesday (summer program for starters)
Mommy gets some regular alone time as Habtamu also goes back to school and will officially begin her job hunt. It's official- the kids are in school now and I'm going back to work. What a long strange trip it's been-laugh.
We received our Fresh Air assignment and will be hosting a young boy for a week (can't wait)
Mommy will be preparing to leave for Ethiopia again on September 5th (eeeekkkkkkk).
Daddy will be travelling and bringing home some of the countries best cheddar I hope from one of his trips :-) (grin)
and family will be here..

Hopefully this warm weather holds out and I'll chalk this year up to one of the best summers yet:

2010-07-30T10:29:00.001-04:00

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Ahhh..the family taxi..yup that's me

2010-07-24T14:16:00.000-04:00

Ahhh... home again-things are back to "normal"... Denis flying out this week for work- his family flying in-bringing my mom to work a few times this week, attending playgroups with our little friends and celebrating birthdays-Habtamu is playing sports....Debritu getting ready for preschool- and me- I guess I'm the taxi for it all... Laugh!!!

Wow-my my how my version of "normal" has changed....

2010-07-22T14:18:00.003-04:00

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Vermont vacation at Smuggs:-)

2010-07-22T14:18:00.001-04:00

www.smuggs.com

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September or November in Addis...

2010-07-13T09:39:00.001-04:00

I have to make a choice as to when to fly to Ethiopia-fellow bloggers- help me. When would you go?
September:
Pros:

There to celebrate the new year
There for school starting
rains will have just stopped- should be beautiful
little "host" brother likely to be in town

Cons:

family will be busy with school starting
rains will have recently stopped-travelling outside of Addis a bit more challenging but beautiful I'm sure
will miss Debritu's first day of preschool-although she'll have started the summer program.

November:

Pros:

friends from the local adoptive community will also be in town
Family will be less busy with their personal schedules
roads will be more "travel" friendly outside of addis

Cons:

will have to take a break from my "newly" started job (with any luck)
no holidays
close to our holidays
host brother will not be there

Either way, I'm nervous about my trip this year because I have "nothing" of helping Ethiopia to show for my time here at home. I hope everyone will understand that this was the first year I brought my kids home and that it was a lot harder to bring them into our lives than I had anticipated. I'm sure they will but I'm still anxious. I'm also broke-and with a gift culture - i'm a bit nervous because the gifts I'll be bringing will also be limited..after all-somebody else has gifted me my plane ticket to make it possible for me to even be there this year. (that's an amazing story all of it's own and I'm so grateful to be able to keep my word and still go to ethiopia yearly even though it looked like it wasn't going to happen this year. Miracles do happen!!).

What are your thoughts? September or November???

Ethiopia-the whole picture- A MUST SEE!

2010-07-08T14:25:00.000-04:00

Thank you Peter Haskell!!! Thank you-
This video has been circulating facebook and other Ethiopian interest sites for the past week or so.
I finally got a moment to peek at it- and HOLY COW...
Finally a video that shows the glory, diversity and wealth of the Ethiopian landscape! Love it!!!!
If you have not seen this video yet- it's a must see!

Ethiopia: The Whole Picture from Paul Hassell on Vimeo.

Peter has another one I really like as it reminds me of the joys of teaching in Ethiopia:
It's called "A song and a prayer" http://vimeo.com/11676034

Ethiopian Roads

2010-07-07T21:58:00.000-04:00

I'm in the middle of writing a presentation for the Ethiopian culture camp. As a result I am going through the photos from my 5 road trips in Ethiopia. Humored, I thought I would share some of my on the road adventures with you today... Everything from Fog, to mud, wild animals, domesticated animals and car problems. There are many-I couldn't decide...

The other side of Ethiopia

2010-07-03T17:58:00.002-04:00

The inevitable delema of being white and living in Ethiopia for any time is mentally balancing the disparity between wealth and poverty . When you live like a resident in Ethiopia you will eventually find that you gravitate toward people who speak English well. And often this means -that you will rub elbows with the "richer" echelon of society. No matter how much you try to make friends with the common population your experience will be jaded in it's depth due to your lack of ability to carry on a deep and meaningful conversation.

As a white person with local friends-you are often invited to the most amazing locations-and when weekends role around-it is sometimes difficult to balance the rich experiences with the more poorer main populace experiences. Although there is much poverty in Ethiopia- one of the overlooked items is that there is also much wealth. So if you are going to live there for any length of time- you best bring some nice clothes along with your comfortable walking shoes.

As an example, I was most humbly invited to a delightful and intimate party at the following location.
(I chose not to use my personal photos here because they have lots of people in them -and this blog is public).

The second location many of you will recognize.

Bead up my nose... Oh my...

2010-07-03T10:01:00.008-04:00

As I have almost completed my first "elaborate" hairstyle on Debritu - knowing it's 4th of July this weekend and Ethiopian Culture camp next weekend- I decided to go with an Ethio-American theme.

When I'm nearing our 5th hour of working on her hair... I hear- mama -bead nose- hurts... Hmmm. What could this mean? I've been really careful with the beads. Are you sure Debritu? I look up her nose, touch her nose- nothing. Then puzzled -step away for moment- looking for tweezers just in case and thinking "what am I to do??". She starts screaming hysterically when I step away. Hmmm-bead up her nose. Seriously? But I was right there, doing her hair- and she's watching TV, is it possible? Well-she's almost 3- anything in possible-laugh. So- I turn up the lights- man handle her down to the floor and spread open her nostrils as calmly as I can- while struggling to get her to stay still so I can "look".

There it is.... Yup- she has a red bead stuck up her nose. Now I Panic .. grab shoes - jump in the car and call hubby- what hospital do I go to? All the while I'm driving "fast" to the hospital- with my hazard lights on... Now, If you know me, I drive pretty fast to start with...I have calmed down immensely in my "parentage".. but I learned- some things come back very naturally-laugh.

So quickly down the highway we fly- I kept thinking- what if she gets this past the point of seeing it- what will they have to do? After all it's right at the point where is she pushes it even a bit- it might "disappear". Hmmmm. Denis calls the nurse and she calls me. The nurse asks-"can you see it??, Yes, I can but it's high. She says, okay-come into the office anyway? There is one thing we can try- if it doesn't work we'll move her to the emergency room". All the while I'm calming now and have a constant case of nervous laughter.

So, arriving at the office (one floor up from Emergency) they usher us right into a room-all the while D is screaming.

Here is what you do if your Daughter or Son gets a bead up there nose and you can see it!

A nurse held her down
The doctor plugged the clear nostril.
Then I blew as hard as I could into her mouth.

The bead came flying out- along with some buggers onto my face...Ewwww.but totally awesome!.
So- if your daughter ever gets a bead stuck up her nose- try the little trick described above.

The doctor then giggles and says to "me", now you know the trick.

The doctor then explains... they see this a lot.

15 minutes later, the delighted Debritu and I head to the hospital cafeteria for a chocolate milk and some change for the valet guy. The picture above is her hair still half beaded this morning..

To tell or not to tell...

2010-06-27T13:08:00.000-04:00

I often struggle with being a custodian of Habtamu and Debritu's story and not a teller of their life experience. Instead- we're working to make a difference... or at least trying to...on a small scale:

By speaking out at culture camps- we are able to connect our children with others with similar life stories.
By speaking out to our church we are able to education others about adoption, society and inter-racial relationships- not to mention the realities of life is "sub-Saharan Africa".
By asking for small amounts of money here and there; disadvantaged students in Ethiopia are receiving an education and we are working to keep families with disadvantages in-tact and functioning as a family.
This morning- H and D's story has inspired a congregation in Florida- to ask for and send money to Nothing but Nets. So, not only are our children inspiring others to make a difference - their story is going play a small part in "making a difference". Perhaps today- one less family- may lose their mom or dad or sibling....by simply being touched or enlightened by a another's life experience. http://www.nothingbutnets.net

I do believe that it is better for my children to grow up knowing that their story was told to help- when it was told. Seriously- if we buy nets, fight malaria every way we can, earn money for vaccination against TB, educate others on adoption and adoption language and help other children/families to stay intact through the difficulties of poverty (both at home and away).. perhaps perhaps we will instill pride and confidence in their story. Perhaps they will dislike that I told the story- or perhaps they will believe in a bigger picture- and believe that their story was part of a solution...

So when appropriate- yes, we do tell H and D's story. We tell it with much consideration and concern -but yes we do tell it. We also encourage others too (with permission of course).

So, as custodians, we can only do the best we can.. and sure, we will make an occasional bad decision-like the rest of our parenting -giggle-but hopefully on the grand scale our kids will "turn out all right"... :-).

Education First is looking for host families

2010-06-20T21:57:00.000-04:00

Education First- www.efhomestay.org is looking for some host families in the Worcester Area. The kids are coming July 7th-August 2nd.

They are gone from your home work hours-spending evenings and the first two weekends with you. If you are interested or can provide some meals and a bed- email pamela.shaw@ef.com or call her at 617.233.7467

There are about 8 teens (including 2 teachers 24+) looking for a place to stay. There are planned drop up and pick up locations near the suburbs (ie: northboro, etc).. so if you think you can do it- or can spilt the time with another family.. give her a call.

If they don't find "rooms" the kids have to stay home.

Out of the loop..and just "realizing it"

2010-06-17T22:24:00.000-04:00

I found myself reading other people's blogs tonight along with some of the yahoo groups I belong to-regarding Ethiopia and Adoption. It's been a year since I've dedicated time to this, and wow, to my surprise-life has been happening all around me-laugh.

I'm delighted to see some new blogs, and to view pictures of children from those that I encountered while waiting.

Sure sure.. like most- I counted the months, days, weeks, sometimes breaths of the days we waited. While we "impatiently" waited we checked off the list of things we had to do before the kids came, and we scrutinized everything about Ethiopia and Adoption. I officially wore out my "refesh" button- F5-F5-F5-F5-F5 nothing new.?? close window- open it again-log in.. F5-F5-F5-F5-F5..phew 15 minutes passed- maybe something now... F5-F5-F5-F5-F5 for 20 months or so..laugh.

Then something happened..something nutty..... We actually went ahead and adopted kids.

Like most I know, I totally crawled inside my home and was shocked ... laugh.. no seriously shocked at what just happened to "my" life. Are you kidding me- I'm now in "charge" of two kids? Seriously- how did that happen?? What were they thinking?? Somebody-lot's of somebodies.. said we'd be good people to become a parent to two children at the same time- yeah me and him... two kids.. no seriously??? What were we thinking... What were they thinking???

Somebody once said to me- "god won't give you anything you can't handle". Now, I don't know where I stand on my belief in god (or my disbelief for that matter).. but this saying has been in my head for the past year - every-time I hit my limit I hear it... Much like my other little mantras... Recently, I just shared it with a new friend of mine-perhaps it's helping or haunting her too-perhaps if you are in our shoes- it will help you too.

so-It seems every 3 months I'd get disillusioned- I'd convince my husband- we're not doing so bad-etc etc..Look we can go to the zoo. Look we can take a shower...

3 more months..Look we can handle family visiting and juggle school schedules.

3 more months- hey let's take a trip???? oops....

3 more months- I'm actually back to reading other peoples blogs..yes.. that's my big disclaimer today. It does seem like a simple thing- looking at other people's blogs and reading yahoo groups- that use to be something I did in my down time. Now, I think.... what is down time exactly??? Taking time to search the web-it's the last thing I have time to do..laugh.

Well -here I am- yet one more stretch ... I'm actually searching the net, kids are sleeping. and Yes, I'm reading your blogs and it feels GREAT. Yet to me- it's one more simple step toward a life that feels more balanced.

Your blogs feel like a breath of fresh air- a chance to capture a moment back of what was once so simple....

So, thank you all for keeping up your blogs and I can't wait to catch up on your beautiful lives!

Northboro Church Knitting group makes socks and sends them to Ethiopia

2010-06-07T10:41:00.000-04:00

Our church (First Parish Church UU of Northborough) has a Knitting group. They recently knit socks for the upcoming rainy season for a family of the Selamta Family Project. Here is a picture of the socks arriving to the family in Ethiopia-Included in the email from the children- was a heart felt Betam Amaseganallo! (thank you very much) from the Family.

Our church has been so very supportive of our adoption. First they hosted a public viewing of a movie called "black gold" -with advertising -etc. At the event they sold fairly traded coffee, made popcorn and provided an opportunity to discuss it. They have donated money to the ECC for new adoptive parents to learn more about inter-racial adoption... and now.. they have sent socks to a newly created family to help a mom take care of her children during this upcoming rainy season.

Having the humble but wonderful opportunity to co-ordinate some of these opportunities is really making my heart leap for joy and tears come to my eyes. I can't thank our congregation enough for being open to reaching out to the needs in Ethiopia and for embracing our efforts.

Should anyone else like to ask their church or another local organization to do something for the Selamta group- simple or large- please email me at: kbrusstar@tbgsec.com with your idea and I'd be more than happy to put you in touch with the correct person.

A Lazy Day in Photos - June 6th 2010

2010-06-07T08:19:00.015-04:00

Welcome - come on in and enjoy a rainy day with us...

Daddy Started the morning off with the kiddos- (at 4:45) Debritu gets up crazy hours at the moment because she's missing her binkie...mommy laid on the couch- wishing away a headache.

A few hours later mommy decides to jump in and gives daddy a break. Habtamu and I play Cooties...

Debritu decides to play a lace up the bugs game.

Kids eating left over bagels while daddy makes eggs, sausage and hashbrowns... yummy yummy!

The kids went outside to play barefoot in the warm light rain this morning-but when I got back to them with the camera-I discovered that they decided it was a good day to roll around in the grass and play in the sand while - NAKED - so we've omitted those pictures :-)

ahh- back inside and it seems that it's time to have some independent play time for everyone :-)

Daddy and Habtamu leave for H's last T-ball game. Did I meantion it was a rainy day??? Note how well I dressed him today (not).

Debritu falls asleep (pheww) so Mommy misses the T-ball game and stays home. Geneva decides it's also a good time for a nap so she goes to sleep with her.

It's noon....Habtamu and dad are off to T-ball, my mom is still doing our laundry (thank you thank you thank you mom), Debritu's asleep and it looks like the sun is going to come out. Ahhh- A random chance for me mom to take a shower-maybe even shave her legs (I'll spare you the picture of it though-laugh)! Yippy!

Mommy took 5 minutes and got to brush Geneva- A Pomeranian could easily hide in the hair I brushed off her.

1:00 Debritu up Eating lunch.

T-ball game cancelled- boys are in-town.

Nana is walking her dog.

From 2-4:00

Debritu learns "Do Re Me...." with Nana while daddy plays a completely different song on the guitar. Debritu runs around pulling out books, toys and other random items looking for something "new" to do while saying "why, why, why" to everything. (Mommy is playing on You Tube researching braiding styles - hoping to find something she can actually do).

Habtamu decides it's a good day for a nap- can you find him in his bed?

4:00

Got bored- Decided it was a good time to head out to Chuck E Cheese.

Was having too much fun to remember to take pictures.. after this-laugh.

The kids are not the only ones that had fun it seems...laugh. Nana looks quite happy too....

Exhausted- we came home -and put the kids in bed.

Hope you all had a wonderful Rainy Day yesterday.... Thanks for sharing ours with us.

13 months as a family

2010-06-05T21:00:00.000-04:00

Holy cow... 13 months.- Phewww! If you told me 13 months ago that I'd be happy being home- not working yet; that I'd be afraid of the dynamics of flying with my children; that I'd be going to Vermont for a family vacation (domestic are you kidding???).. I'd have laughed at you. If you told me the kids would be the happy and complete focus of my life- I'd believe you-but I'd have had no idea what that really meant.

The past 13 months-talk about a Roller Coaster Ride!!! Mostly I think, I wonder how this all happened...How in the world did we become parents to our wonderful and beautiful children??? Their voices in the morning make my heart sing..Mummmeee..it's get up time..(Habtamu) or Mummmeee- "Wake up" (Debritu).. and of course my eyes still burn because it's so darn early. My brother in-law was visiting and said to us "I don't know how you function on such a little amount of sleep". Dad and I were both surprised by this comment- we thought we slept a lot- ..laugh.guess that could explain the "mood swings".

How did we get children that really are the perfect fit for our family???? How does this all work itself out-really???

We still remember what it was like before our children joined our family but don't desire to go "back" there anymore. I don't cry about what we did "to" our lives nope.. I've moved on- I cry because I'm at my limit.. and need a break-but ya know that limit keeps changing- keeps growing. Talk about a job that tests ya!.

Things that use to matter to Den and I- don't anymore. The children have offered us so much perspective- so many changes. Children have changed me as much as all my travelling combined and then some-but you won't hear me saying "why didn't we do this sooner", ha ha. All of the changes are different- on a different level than the changes and excitement of becoming more "open or closed minded" through your travels. The changes motherhood create in somebody I'm convinced are not easily imagined by that waiting parent.

But who I was with out our children- even it they magically "went away"- I'd never be that woman again- nor would I like to be. They are remarkable little people that change constantly and are so forgiving. Why can't we stay that way as adults.. Why do we judge when our children teach us to forgive??

13 months ago today we walked -exhausted and confused but delighted through the threshold of our home; I'm still exhausted, still delighted when I look, listen or watch our children and man I'm still oh so very confused-but somewhere in all of this we've all changed. Habtamu, Debritu, Denis and I- We've become a family with bonds.. bonds that I can't imagine being with out. Bonds that make each day-and adventure.

Annual reports, adoption and our lucky children...

2010-06-03T11:25:00.000-04:00

Our annual reports are due. This got Hubby and I thinking and talking- As adoptive families from Ethiopia-we are so lucky to have to write annual reports on our children-what a great record of their childhood these children will have.
As many of you know-the questions are structured so year after year-our children will have answers like- - "how have you changed", what was your school performance, and how was your health". Along with quick summaries to the events of their lives for that year.

Hubby and I were talking about how neat it would be- now that we are older- to have these to look back on. To learn that we had RSV, or preferred to play alone than with others. To learn that we wore special shoes to learn to walk, or that we threw temper tantrums. Wouldn't it be great to know that your grandmother died at age 4 and that you spent time with her-perhaps learning how her death affected your life.

Sure many of us journal here and there -but to have a year of your life consistently recorded in under 2 pages every year.

Since I often think about what was taken away from my children by the loss of their culture, never knowing what your biological mom and dad looked like or what their first year or so of life was like- I am thrilled to be able to offer them an account of their life with us. Although it can never make up for their initial loss it will provide a history and some answers- answers to questions-that other kids-bio kids - are unlikely to have.

So - 3 Cheers to having to write this report. Now, to hope and pray that their extended family gets to read it.

Bye Bye my love...

2010-06-03T11:02:00.002-04:00

How do you say Goodbye to your "best friend"? The object that comforts you at night and during your mid-day nap? Debritu's teeth are all in and it looks like she's starting the first stages of an overbite-so I have to be the tough guy and take her binkie away. Why is it that the mom's always seem to have to make the tough decisions ...hmmmm?

The poor girl is in for a tough couple of days-and I'm guessing we are too-but somehow no matter how hard something is- I'm continuously empathizing with the children. This is her loss - and it's a big one...

For us, it's just a few more hours with out sleep. I have to wonder.. do we actually sleep anymore anyway?

1) Debritu says bye bye to her binkies

Here's my baby getting ready to be a Preschooler

and the trash truck come to take her binkies away

She's waving to the trash truck- while crying.. and saying bye bye binkies..bye bye...my binkies..goooooo...

IT'S A SAD SAD DAY....

P'od about the Oil leak!!!!

2010-05-23T16:13:00.000-04:00

I am getting more and more upset about the continuous Oil leak in the gulf.

Why is it that we have to hear for months about Edward's affair with some woman (when 4 out of 5 marriages don't make it- is that really news people) and Angelina and Brad's life (exciting-sure, but enough already)-but the pollution of our seas and the damage and clean up that comes with it-is simply highlighted with concerns over "toursim"... good god! People think.. Eco-Clean up trips!!!! Calling-Clean Oceans, Calling all of the www.ecotourism.com companies.. hell calling anyone that will listen...please let's get started!!!!

Think solutions people... Please think solutions...The BP oil giant obviously needs help- not just finger pointing and criticism.. but really honest to goodness help. Together let's save the gulf for goodness sake and news anchors and gov't, fishermen, cruise companies...etc..etc... can persecute the crap out of them later!!!!

GRRRRRRRR.......

Ethiopia has recognized - Haile Kids aid organization as an NGO

2010-05-17T23:25:00.000-04:00

Ethiopia has recognized - Haile Kids aid organization as an NGO. This is a very long process in Ethiopia ( go Eldana!) It's been a couple of years now-but Haile is slowly happening!!!!! Haile means power in Amharic. We chose Haile as the name because there is no more important power in a child or adults life than the type of power that education can provide.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.. one wish upon a star answered! Now it's time to ramp up the US side of this project baby- hang in there!

LemLem School - has a new website!!

2010-05-17T23:22:00.000-04:00

Many of you have seen pictures of my trips to Ethiopia. Those touching photos of the children smiling up at you, the ever enthusiastic teachers and of course the pictures from my trips with the daughter of the owner of the school. It is Lem Lem and my months there that made me fall completely in love with Ethiopia.

I'm so excited to announce that now I can share that love with you!! One of the recent volunteers created a new website for the school!

Please Visit this website....pass it on to your friends and family..etc etc....

http://web.me.com/lemlemschool/Site/Tena_Yistiling!.html

If you are moved and or find yourself interested in volunteering, or visiting the school while on another trip-and learning what a day in a school age child is like, if you would like to sponsor a student in need of subsidies or would just simply like to know more about the school itself- contact me at kbrus@yahoo.com and I'll put you in touch with the owner of the school.

Catcher, Hitter, Out-Fielder and 3rd Basement...all in a days work

2010-05-09T15:57:00.001-04:00

Pictures.. our month away with family..

2010-05-07T10:53:00.002-04:00

Here are a bunch of pictures from our trip: There are a bunch of folders- all on the family 2010 webpage.

http://fendesha.shutterfly.com/family2010

It was an amazing journey.... there are so many pictures- it's difficult to choose...

3500 miles of Amazing moments

2010-05-06T13:18:00.000-04:00

3500 miles from here to there and back again. This trip that was more difficult in ways I hadn't imagined (lost cell phone and connections) and easier in ways that I had thought would be difficult (puking in car-driving late into the night).

We met the most amazing and inspiring people (E), saw exciting things- like a giant T-Rex Dinosaur and Mommy got all excited over the Wright Brothers and Amelia Erhart's airplanes. We got upclose and personal with Florida's wildlife (no I don't mean my relatives but good guess- ha ha).

Mama was pushed to discover things she could do- like drive a boat and ride a huge bike in Disney pedestrian traffic- phew- thank goodness I was running again before we left. We went down water-slides both in-doors and outdoors, became expert PB and J sandwich makers-laugh. We broke little rules here and there- we laughed at our mistakes and enjoyed our triumphs. We tossed some of our goals in the air and were very thankful for some small but miraculous moments.

In my rediscovery of the USA I discovered something I hadn't expected to -I discovered that I really love my kids-and they love me too. Not that love at first site love that I once had for them and the people I thought they would be-but I mean after 1 seriously difficult year for all of us- I've fallen in love with who they are. Being a mom still doesn't come naturally to me and it may be something that never does-but I can now distinguish the difference between my concerns and insecurities about motherhood and my love for my children.

2589 miles, 2 toddlers...in a VW Bug.

2010-04-07T08:45:00.000-04:00

And we're off- on Friday , we start a 2589 mile trip bringing us from home to Florida and back again. We're off to see Family, make New Friends, visit with Old Friends, tip our ears to Mickey, see Dinosaurs, look inside airplanes, see where the president lives, swim a bit, hang out at playgrounds and visit historical Williamsburg. I've added a ton of Ethiopian Restaurants to my Magellan in hopes of visiting one or two while on our way too - yum yum..

Those are my hopes- in reality-this trip may simply turn into sleeping and swimming in a bunch of in-expensive hotels-looking for the nearest U-Turn-laugh-but we're open minded to see where the road brings us and what adventures await us. Our first adventure- the stroller doesn't fit in the car-nor does anything else for that matter. Be certain to wave if you see 3 people in their underwear driving south- ha ha. Daddy is joining us for the excitement of the beginning and end of the trip- I just haven't figured out where I'm going to put him yet.

After one year home-this little travel girl is finding herself again- only this time as a mom. And I'm sooo excited to finally be able to do what I've always dreamed of.. begin to teach and show my children the wonders of this world.

So, I'm.starting as my grandparents did- with the appreciation of your our own back yard.... We will return home on H and D's one year anniversary in the US.. H + D, I love you and even though you are young- may mommy's first gift to you-be one that you have pictures of always...I just pray that I'm packing enough energy and excitement that I too will be smiling in those pics!!!

Welcome to America my sweets!

Battle of Adwa

2010-03-28T19:44:00.001-04:00

This song and Gigi's quick explanation are an excellent start if you are not familiar with the Battle of Adwa (which happened in the month of March).

You can hear Gigi's pride in her voice when she speaks of her Ethiopia's victory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdtYF9l0RkU

Debritu reads to mommy...

2010-03-26T12:25:00.000-04:00

We read books to Debritu when she is going poo poo on the toilet. We'll today- she heard me going poo poo and brought in a book.. then she ran out of the bathroom and brought in a stool... next she sat down on the stool, opened the book and started reading me one of her stories. When I finally realized what was going on- I couldn't help but laugh and be absolutely delighted!!!!

The kids-One Year Later 3/23/10

2010-03-23T20:44:00.002-04:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I met our future children 1 year ago today.

2010-03-23T10:07:00.005-04:00

It's 5 minutes long and combines 3 videos.
One year ago today - I met Habtamu and Debritu.
6 weeks later- they would become our children.
Tonight I will upload they look like today.
(These videos were taken to send to Denis so he too could share in this moment).
Enjoy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Becoming a mom- 10 month update

2010-03-19T10:23:00.000-04:00

This past year has been more challenging than I had anticipated in so many ways. How can I possibly summarize what it's like to go from being a successful independent and fairly selfish woman to a broke mom of two toddlers and a housewife.

First thing that comes to mind is that there are many things I have not finished that I started a couple of years ago (or longer) that are very important to me: I still have to finish the paperwork for an NGO I'd love to open, missed going to Ethiopia this March-so much that I break down in an awful fit of tears that I can't live any part of the life I use to have. I've gained too much weight even though I'm active at home with the kids- I'm way less active than I was before they came and I'm home all the time so I eat more. I still remember what my life was like before they came to live with us - and miss it a lot and since I love what I do for work- I really miss it. I actually miss meetings-laugh- those things I dreaded, miss the city commute and the energy of hopping trains in the morning and the time for personal peace and quiet. I miss quiet walks with my dog, running with my running buddies at lunch time, going to the gym to lift, a clean and quite house to come home to, the independence of staying out late. I really miss-watching movies when I want to, having dinner regularly with friends, or having time to research the market or new technologies.

I thought I was ready to be a parent- in fact I counted the days for a few years before that blessed day- and now that it's happened sometimes I wonder why I was in such a hurry to give what we had up. One of the biggest things I miss - Having money- man kids are expensive!!!!

Now, to say these are big parts of myself that I miss would be an understatement. But it is not to say that I don't enjoy being a mom or having a bigger family. The kids make me laugh every day, and it is so much fun to watch them grow. Since the suns come out and their 6 full weeks of rotating colds seem to be over for a bit-I've had more time to be reflective-and here's what have taught me about myself.

I have a huge desire to finish some of the things I started when I was younger and didn't finish- mostly because I want them to see that it's okay to stop something-but if it's important it's never to late to get back to it.
Sometimes you have to give more of yourself than you may have wanted to or imagined you'd have to, to get what you want out of a project (say raising children for example). But you'll have many beautiful moments and much joy that had you not allowed yourself to stray from your path you'd have never experienced. I've been really good at making my own path in life-but it's always been a challenge for me to say on anyone else's for any length of time.
I'm comfortable "outside my box"- in fact I prefer to live my life that way-love the adrenaline and excitement an unpredictable life presents. The children restrict this- but I still enjoy retreating to my "discomfort zone" now and then by doing something unpredictable. It's just now a days- I find my adventures closer to home rather than hopping into a plane. I do miss having the money for my pilot lessons, however.
Patience- I'm becoming more patient as the year goes on, and less frustrated and angry. When they first arrived (for the first many months) I got angry, frustrated, tired and cried much more than I do now. There are a lot less shower cries...
I've learned how to play again. Something I struggled with in my Teaching in Ethiopia.. It took me many months and I'm still not great at it- but I'm better at understanding what helps the kids learn and what is fun for them-not what I think is fun-and I've learned to enjoy it.
I've learned more confidence too.. something I really needed both for my professional career to grow when I do return to work, but also for my family. I no longer judge how well I'm doing as a mom by what others are doing or what they are thinking-but I have learned that I am different than many mom's and similar to other moms, and it's taken me awhile to find people who are "similar" to my "style" as well as lot's of time to understand my parenting style and of course that like everything in our lives will forever be evolving and developing.

To hear "I did it, mom" and "mama, come", "up, mama" and that frighted cry that says "mama mama..in the night" that only you can console.. They swell my heart now- and they sound different than they did. They warm my heart instead of feeling like Ughhghghg.. and I respond more naturally now.

This list could go on and on- and if I has time away from the kids-perhaps it would be even well written and a more "meaningful" post but for now-with my 2 year old hanging off my arm biting me, pulling at me and kissing my arm while saying- mom, mom, maaaammmmeeee...this is what I've got to give and well.. although it's not perfect..It's good enjoy-laugh and smile.

Happy Spring!!!!

preschool -a leprechaun -and a pot of gold

2010-03-17T21:12:00.000-04:00

I was at H's preschool today and he was out of the room preparing for his spring concert, so, I went into his classroom. While I was waiting, I played with some of the younger children in his class. Here is what I learned today:

A leprechaun visited the school today, but apparently leprechaun's don't like people, so, he was hiding from them. They looked everywhere to find this visitor and decided that he must have been in one of the bathrooms.

I asked if he left a pot of gold (trying to keep a straight face) and one of the boys said-with a serious reply- no, not yet- but we'll check again later.

LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T09:22:00.001-04:00

It's Silly Weather Day

2010-03-12T07:42:00.001-05:00

It's been a superduper silly series of outfits this week...

Concerns regarding the required changes to Ethiopian Adoption process

2010-03-11T16:25:00.002-05:00

The latest laws passed down from the Ethiopian Government as I've just heard have me confused, concerned amongst other emotions.
A few details: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/03/10/cbsnews_investigates/main6285921.shtml

I have to say that I find the adoption agencies keep people so closeted from the real Ethiopia because of their fear of how the culture will "handle' it- and vice versa -hoping to not "rock" any boats as we've been told over and over again. So, I'm confused by the "governments" decision to require these adoptive families that the agencies keep "hostage" - in the country for longer periods of time.

When we adopted- The agency made it particularly difficult for me to visit with my children while in country and I had to follow some rather ridiculous rules that put me at danger in order to protect the children. Ie: travelling at night alone-or don't come. So I never did get to visit my children after a work day. We had made arrangements, signed papers and made many phone calls while in the states to get permission for one specific person that I lived with to be able to assist me. They assured me it would be fine. In the end-this person was allowed only once to visit with me (in 2 months). While in country, I was never was invited to the baby house to meet these people at their offices. The agency only communicated with my Husband in the states and he would call me in Ethiopia. The above examples are what I'm concerned about-there is clearly a disconnect between the Ethiopian office and the US office at times.

But if you take the following item for example- this one is typical of Ethiopian Culture-there were many times the children would be at the doctors- with no explanation as to why and I wouldn't be able to see them again for 3 days unless I traveled alone after work (in the dark- not suggested as a foreigner) or called in sick to work. Unless you understand the culture and know that these types of things happen-this above example would make you very angry as a foreigner. But this later one didn't bother me-because I knew the children were in wonderful hands-being taken care of- and that this is just how Ethiopia works- sometimes you won't be told things and other times you will.

That brings me to the question of -what are they going to do with the families that decide to stay for a month or two rather than fly back or forth? We almost selected Kazakhstan because we preferred this method of adoption for bonding reasons with our children-but found that our agency (although they also worked in Kazakhstan) did not have the ability to handle our request to do this with our Ethiopia adoption. So, how are they planning on handling this??

I guess most families will just stay onsite and enjoy being with their children day in and day out-but why-why won't the agencies encourage these families to volunteer teach or visit an NGO while they are there??? Go visit the challenges of the country- learn while you are there.

Third- I don't talk much about the actual adoption process any longer on my blog-but sending a bunch of people into Ethiopia that are not prepared for the poverty, the lack of "conveniences" and telling them they need to come and go a couple of times is not acceptable to me. Locals hear foreigners that are adopting complaining about the "lack of conveniences" so many times. The agencies are clearly going to need to do a better job preparing people for the conditions in Ethiopia- even if they don't have to "experience" them while at the orphanage guest houses. It's amazing to me- one woman in our group was upset there was no air conditioning in the Embassy. She was sheltered by the discomforts of being in the country at the guest house and had no idea that the embassy was running on generators that day as that area of town had no electricity or water. The locals that hear these discussions have no idea that you as a visitor is being sheltered by the difficulties of everyday life in Ethiopia.

To that note- the sheltering of the visiting families by the agencies-does not allow people to really understand the local situation-and thus we often do not sound understanding or compassionate when we are in public situations. The thought of what locals will think and hear if these same families are being forced to be in a developing country worries me for the future of adoption and for the reputation we will have in the country as adoptive parents. If you have the opportunity of visiting Ethiopia and seeing her beauty- you really should want to be there or as the agencies do- be cared for while you are there- but more than one "protected" visit concerns me with out awareness or education toward the local situation on exit from their host housing.

In my 8 months in Ethiopia- I met more foreigners that didn't like being there than foreigners that did enjoy being there. Most individuals from the west find the extended discomforts difficult to handle. The cold showers, the rotating electric and water schedules, the muddy conditions during the rainy season, the respiratory infections you get from the dust during the dry season, open sewage, the transportation shortage because the gas stations are closed due to non-delivery of petro, or that there are sometimes public-bus bombings or other dangerous events (etc), there can be a lack of bottled water because the "bottling factories" sometimes run out of bottles or that Coca could not import their product due to lack of US so there is sometimes a coca cola shortage.

Personally- at this moment as I try to absorb the new requirements- I find this disturbing- for many different cultural reasons. I ache for the waiting families that are looking at their finances in this already expensive experience. I'm sick at the thought that the children will sit longer in the orphanages as required court dates will increase the wait-as agencies will likely begin to make groups that travel 2x together.. ughhhh.-and I am concerned for Ethiopia- and her sometimes challenged perception of foreigners and international adoption.

Although on the upside, perhaps this will require the agencies to actually begin to introduce us adoptive families to the Ethiopian Culture beyond that of a cultural dinner, a museum visit and a long drive that includes a Sheraton style hotel stay.

Let me put a bug in your ear- try to Volunteer or meet people while you are there. Volunteering would really help add a "benefit" to the adoption experience both for the country and the families. After all the country needs assistance and you are there to bring home the children they can no longer support for one reason or another.

It seems if you the government of Ethiopia are going to require people to be there- and you allow the the agencies to require a "facility donation" for those lavish resorts you keep your adoptive guest in-that you the government of Ethiopia can also require "volunteer" work from the visiting families. How bad could it be if rather than keeping the adoptive families in the agency guest house and hiding them from the culture- instead with this plan the adoptive family could experience some of the culture while adopting Ethiopia's children.

Okay- a little off the mark there...but can't say this entry was as boring as my most recent -ha ha. Perhaps saying what you are really thinking is the key to all of this... that my blog is really missing.

It's Silly Hair Day

2010-03-11T06:59:00.000-05:00

It's letter S week at H's pre-school-and everything is Silly Silly Silly!!!

Publish Post

It's Super Silly Sock Day!!

2010-03-10T06:41:00.000-05:00

Check out those giraffe legs and crazy socks..

(yes, he's wearing pantyhose over his trousers-laugh)

It's Backward"s" Day at Habtamu's school

2010-03-09T06:56:00.001-05:00

Habtamu dressed backwards for school today :-) -

Can't believe he has to go to the Dentist like this after class. -laugh!

With an Eye toward the Ethiopian Elections...

2010-03-07T16:24:00.001-05:00

The ability to register to vote in the Upcoming May elections is coming to a close. So far registration for the elections this year is low.

The public's past experience with politics has created a wariness by people as they are not forthcoming in political discussions with foreigners. It is common practice with-in the populace to not speak with others regarding their political opinions as families and their members have been beaten or imprisoned for their views or actions during election time. This is understandable when you include the turmoil that the people of Ethiopia have experienced in the recent memorable years including but of course not limited to their oppression during Derg rule and the shooting during "peaceful" demonstrations in the even the latest election. To learn some basics High level infomation about Ethiopian politics visit this site: http://africanelections.tripod.com/et.html

some basic history (from site above):

1889-1931 Absolute Monarchy

1931-1936 Traditional Monarchy (In practice, still an absolute monarchy)

1936-1941 Italian "Occupation"

1941-1955 Traditional Monarchy (In practice, still an absolute monarchy)

1955-1974 Traditional Monarchy

1974-1984 Military Regime

1984-1987 Military Regime & [De-Facto] One Party State (WPE)

1987-1991 One Party State (WPE)

1991-1995 Transitional Government/Multiparty Transition

1995- Emerging Democracy

As the Elections near the NEBE (National Electoral Board of Ethopia) is going to host a website -although it is likely to be "scrubbed" and clean as this is a government agency (and the government controls the media) it will likely describe the parties-it's candidate along with his/her qualifications and platforms. The good news is that when launched (sometime this month)- it is suppose to be published in Amharic and English. www.electionethiopia.org

Let's hope for few deaths, excellent reporting and for a strong turn out by the registered populace!

Habtamu -Wow- look at the growth!

2010-03-06T10:01:00.000-05:00

I came across a pair of pants today that Habtamu was wearing the first week we had him.

He was in 2T- Now he's wearing 5T...

Here is the Difference since May 5th of 2009 -(Today is March 6th 2010-10 months later).

Thank goodness for my Sister-inlaw and her graciously giving us clothes for him!

tying a knot at the end of my rope and hanging on

2010-03-04T08:56:00.000-05:00

Our kids have been home from everything they attend "mostly" for close to 6 weeks now-with the occasional break.

They have been sick-either with colds, staff resistant infections or some other nutty health related reason and I am going completely insane. Warm weather pllllllleeeeaaaassseee come soon!!!

Thank goodness I got to go to Chicago last weekend- as I came home to one of Habtamu's molluscum contagiosm "wart things" on his face completely inflamed to the size of a golf ball. NO Joke. These things have been the most challenging part in terms of health in our adoption adjustment. Can I just say how much I hate them!!! Debritu's finally went away in August and Habtamu's are still hanging around. Sure wish they were not on his face! He's been home all week as we've been going to the doctors every other day- in hopes that the swelling in the tissue will reduce and they can operate on it to relieve the liquid pressure under the skin. Not that I'm thrilled to have his face operated on by any means.

He seems to be regressing and having a bit of trauma around the pain associated with this experience. He's displaying an array of behaviors we have not witnessed since he first arrived- bursts of undefinable crying fits, emotional instability, clingy and then removed.. he's even playing games using Amharic that we haven't seen in months.. This week has been the hardest for him and for us (hardest in a long long time that is).

Debritu is doing really well at the moment- her colds are currently gone (thank goodness they are taking turns on their illnesses) she is just fully blossomed (I hope) in her terrible two's and is challenging everything we try to do with her. She's a very strong willed girly girl being raised by a bit of a tom boy-laugh. Never did I see the day where I'd enjoy a tea party, painting nails, braiding hair, and trying on different shoes.. but she loves it all.. if it's girly- it oooozzzesss out of her-laugh. Truly enjoyable outside of her temper tantrums... she's just as moody as Habtamu these days-laugh.

sorry- I haven't posted in a while- I'm busy tying a knot at the end of my rope and hanging on.. wish me luck!

Hair....Hair... Hair....

2010-02-24T15:29:00.000-05:00

I've spent the past 9 months doing Debritu and Habtamu's hair. We've purchased and tried so many different products. I wanted something I wouldn't have to mail order everytime we needed product and found that I like Virgin Coconut Oil and Argan oil so far for Debritu's hair and Habtamu I use the Argan oil but he doesn't seem to need any "special products". I'm still searching for a conditioner or shampoo that we will be happy with. So far I seem to like the olive oil products-but the decisions not made there yet.

The Argan oil at Sally's worked so much better than the Moroccan Oil from my hair dresser- I have to use less of it and it costs a fraction of what the Moroccan Oil does at the hair salon.
Argan Oil:

http://www.sallybeauty.com/moroccan-oil/ONEONL16,default,pd.html

Coconut Oil- I love it. Fill the sink up with warm water- put the coconut oil in a plastic cup and warm it in the water in the sink- then condition their hair and then add probably two tbls of the warm oil to Debritu's hair-less to Habtamu's and let it sit in their hair while they are in the bath. I've tried it on their dry hair before washing but it takes too much product... I've been trying differerent products out and am not ready to recommend one-but I have tried an organics warming oil purchased at Price Chopper, Spectrum Naturals: Organic coconut oil, at walmart (although I'm not a huge fan of walmart shopping-it's in a green bottle), one from Vitamin world and one from GNC.

If you are working with textured or curly African hair products-what are the Shampoo and Conditioning products you use that you don't have to "buy online?"

First 2 Weeks at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-02-12T22:26:00.001-05:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sof Omar and Bale Mtns at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-02-12T22:13:00.001-05:00

Spring 2009

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Moving Forward...

2010-02-12T16:21:00.000-05:00

I've been questioning some important things in my life and when I do that I love to privately write-and well- I like what I came up with :-).

Remember you are always on the beginning of the path you walk in life- although you can look back and see the road you have traveled-when you look ahead you can only see to the next bend in the road. Only your dreams and goals will determine what is next. Don't let the fact that other people judge you -define you and don't let your past be your complete guide. Learn to forgive yourself. Don't forget to dream the unbelievable and maybe it will come true-because with out those dreams- you have little or nothing to reach for.

Adoption, hospital, RSV and our puzzle master

2010-02-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

Habtamu gets sick:

Habtamu survived his first sick visits at the hospital this week. Wednesday night he was coughing a lot. Then the next morning - he seemed to be improving-but by 11am he had labored breathing and a fever of 103.7. The labored breathing scared me as he was also pale- I never knew he could be so "pale". His beautiful complexion was blotched with a white "hugh" that made me very nervous.

I called the doctor for our first "sick" appointment that felt really serious. At 2:00 we went into the doctors office and they started talking about admitting him tomorrow if this was not the peak of his illness and that we needed to return in 24 hours- in the meantime give him alternating doses of Motrin and Tylenol.

Would you believe 24 hours later- this kid was wanting to jump around-and outside of a cough- you would have had no idea that he was so close to being admitted due to an inability to get enough Oxygen. It's amazing!!!

Sickness and Adoption:

They had to take a chest x-ray of H and I was excited to hear that they were taking an x-ray because it was yet another part of his past that if there were any "problems" the doctor would also find those. It's a weird excitement to know that you don't know your child's past and little things like an x-ray will lead further down that road of understanding. The doctor walks in the room after reading the x-ray and says to me "how long has he been in the country" for no reason at all my heart starts pounding at this innocent question. OMG-Does she think I beat him- why would she ask that- what did the X-rays show- laugh- what are we about to discover from his past- suddenly- I dont want to know!!! I carefully say 8 months- she says- hmmm, It looks like he has RSV - and it's not common to see this at his age here and he hasn't had a lot of respiratory difficulties in those 8 months so far-interesting. I breathed out a sigh of relief. Having no idea what RSV was- it was a better answer than well- he show signs of broken ribs in the past or anything. It was ridiculous really- here I am in the room with my boy who is having trouble breathing and I am worried/excited about what they found on his x-rays. I take a deep breath and say to myself.. uahhhhhhh Adoption.

Our Puzzle master:
While Habtamu is home all day (he's contagious) along with Debritu-I've discovered a way to get some time to shower and or check my email-maybe next week I'll test my idea to see if this works for the long run by trying to make a phone call-laugh.

When Debritu takes a nap I get out a 100 piece puzzle and give it to Habtamu to complete.. This gives me an hour to an hour and half of piece and quiet.. WOOO HOOO... The kid loves loves loves puzzles.

We have a 300 piece puzzle he still hasn't completed it on his own-but I don't think it will be long before he's ready to do it. Imagine- what I can do with all that "free" time when he's doing 300 piece puzzles. Bring it on Baby!

It all happened so FAST

2010-01-31T17:56:00.000-05:00

8 months ago I became a new mom of 2 new little ones... Sometimes-It seems like the other day-we accepted the "referral" of a 14 month old "baby".

While I am still learning to answer to "mama" and "come" and "respond to help"

She is now- 5 inches taller, walking, talking (bossing), wearing big girl panties, using the toilet and wow -this past week she's been preferring to sleep.... in a "big girl bed". It's amazing- every step of the way- we've rejoiced her accomplishments and yet.... where did the little girl that could fit in my arms and was sucking on that bottle go??

Tonight- we celebrate the move- from Crib to toddler bed.... and in between my tears I am thinking "you go girl"... Be all that you can! We love you.

Waiting for Daddy

2010-01-29T16:53:00.000-05:00

First "family" cold... AaaaCccchhhhhhuuuuu

2010-01-27T10:41:00.000-05:00

Well- we're just about finished with our last family cold. Denis got sick when we visited our friends house (on the way home) last week- and this week the rest of us have been down with the same cold. Denis was miserable- like a little boy last week- and now this week- Habtamu, Debritu and myself have all been "below the weather". Which if you are from New England - is pretty darn low-laugh. How did we keep ourselves entertained.

The kids got to see some Winnie the Pooh and their first Sesame Street Video's on Television. Kako (Debritu) is now saying "Pooohhh" and "Elmo" at the Television-laugh- so quickly they learn since TV is at a minimum at our home under "normal" circumstances. We practiced our coloring and lettering, and then letters, colors and numbers again and again :-). Habtamu is struggling with his little d, little p and little b currently.
We're playing with our puzzles and other "sitting" games. Kako keeps wanting to take baths-laugh. She's running into the bathroom saying "shower" or crawling into the bathtub.

To prove that I'm nuts-We've brought the little kid bikes into the house (?) and we're keeping sugared up on juices and then "sitting some more"... The crock pot is "fully employed" making us our dinners... can you say Chicken soup and more chicken soup??

I'd take a picture of the big box of tissues-- or our big red noses-but decided a few simple words would be fun too...after all- a picture of me as a sicko on the internet- hmmmm. yuck-laugh.

So AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHCHOOOOOOOOO ... and don't forget to take your vitamins-laugh.

Hugs and "sniffles",
Kim

Habtamu has an Adventure with Dapper Dan

2010-01-19T21:44:00.000-05:00

Habtamu had a project with school- it is like Flat Stanley only instead his name is Dapper Dan. This weekend was his assigned weekend to have Dapper. Lucky for DD it was a family vacation weekend. So, we took him to our friends house on Long Island. This also happened to be our first adventure taking our children to a friends house.. (heart pounding if you are not use to travelling with children and "suddenly" have 2-laugh).

I was handed a back pack and once we were on their first boat ride- We proudly started taking pictures of the Lion back pack Habtamu brought home from school. Later -while on the boat- we saw Habtamu holding a teddy bear and we were panic'd. Habtamu- Where did you get that bear? Etc.. Etc... After all it was Habtamu's first time on a Ferry too.. He pointed to his back pack and we learned...Dapper Dan was not the Lion Back pack.. but a cleaver little Bear hidden inside.

Here is Dapper Dan's Story.

Habtamu removed me from my Lion Back pack and introduced me to his family. We took a vehicle ferry to Long Island.

The next day we went to a Karate Class. The friends we visited go to Karate on Saturday mornings. Habtamu and I went with them and participated in the class. I watched but Habtamu ran around with the kids.

(I cannot get rid of that darn big space below-scroll down)

Then we went to the Zoo. At the zoo we saw Llama, goats, pigs, donkeys, birds and cows.Then we were at the Zoo-Debritu slept most of the time and when she woke up she sat in a puddle landing with a big splash. It was very funny and the whole group laughed. Mom spent a little time in the bathroom under the hand dryer- drying Kako's pants. We finished this long day at Chucky Cheese-where Debritu was afraid of the "bad kitty" aka Chucky Cheese-laugh.

The next day - I risked my life at the zoo by going into the shark tunnel- but on the other side of the tunnel we saw some pretty Tropical fish. This day was Martin Luther King Jr's Holiday so we learned about Equality.

On Tuesday- We got out the vote and learned about democracy!

On Wednesday, I Dapper Dan return to school with Habtamu. I've learned a lot this weekend, had much fun with two different families, learned about Equality and the fight for Equal rights in this country and how that fight continues today. We also learned about Democracy and how important it is for citizens of a country have a right to choose their leaders.. directly or indirectly.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day....

2010-01-18T21:13:00.000-05:00

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. " - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I too have this dream for my one little child. And additionally that we will not judge based on gender, sexual orientation, country of origin or religion. There's still work to do, but progress has been made. (thanks Marcie)

are you kidding- for just a weekend?

2010-01-15T14:29:00.000-05:00

Stroller, pack n play, winter clothes, potty seat...kids clothes, my clothes.. toothbrushes... laugh.
It feels more like we're moving out-than going away for just the weekend -laugh....

on the "cheap" in london

2010-01-12T15:31:00.000-05:00

Going to London is "EXPENSIVE"!!

Many wonder how Denis and I travel "so much"-laugh. After a few years of practice you get pretty good at this. It's difficult sometimes to make the sacrifices you have to make- like missing birthdays, holidays and other "traditional" days that you'd share with your family. But while everyone is with their families-generally-the world's travel prices drop drastically.

Rick Steve's is a good reference for any of you new to this. He's my primary resource-then I use Trip Advisor, and google the location in general. It's helpful to try to find people who have traveled to where you are going- often they have money saving ideas- so get the word out that your trying to make the trip happen.

We spent 5 nights in London. We did make a business meeting there-but unfortunately it feel through.- So here's how we spent the week.

1)We visited the Christmas displays and when we saw people singing Christmas carols we'd stop and listen.
2) We stayed in a small nice but inexpensive hotel- this is often the most challenging booking part of the trip. We stayed at: http://www.gardencourthotel.co.uk/ and loved it! Breakfast and internet access were included in our room rate. The internet access was slow -but allowed us to check in with home in the morning and evenings and answer any business related questions-etc- with out being completely disconnected. Our rooms were huge too! Very Unusual for Europe..laugh.
3) We bought a 7 day train ticket for the tube instead of a 5 day because it was cheaper. We took the train and walked everywhere.
4) We stuck with going mostly to the free museums and free activities.
5) We ate the holiday "street" foods and shared or ate less when we went into a restaurant or pub. (Try to always get non-touristy family owned recommendations from your hotel lobby or pop into places that look like family owned stores and ask where to eat. You'll often find gems that will cost you half of a bigger, known restaurant. We'll snack during the day- so that we eat less during dinner too).
6) Decide on the expensive things you are going to do - and stick to it-but leave a little wiggle room in-case something unexpected Dazzles you. Don't upgrade things-stick with the basics. (We went to two pay museums, saw Chicago and Les Mis-(buying tickets at half price and not caring what plays we saw in advance) and took a group day trip to Stonehenge). Going on the group trip was going to be less expensive than renting a car and trying it alone in this case-but often we do the opposite. DONT get caught up in Shopping-and stay out of the gift shops as best you can!
7) Don't plan so much that you can't change your mind-but plan enough that you use your time wisely. If you want to see 3 big things that day- try to do them in an order - start with the one farthest from your hotel and work your way back- or go in order based on location if you can- so that you are not running around town getting from place to place all day. Remember to eat early, and take some breaks. Don't starve yourself-snack instead-hungry tourists are grumpy tourists.
8) We'd end our days with buying a bottle of wine and drinking it in the community area of the hotel or in our room vs. having wine with dinner-this saved us a bundle and allowed us some planning time each evening!

One of our itineraries looked like this:

8am ish - eat breakfast - if you miss it -grab a croissant from a little cafe with a coffee. Watch people go to work.
9am walk through park and enjoy the street artists work.
11am -go to half tix booth and buy cheap theater tickets for evening
Walk by Buckingham palace and ogle through the gate.
Watch the horses change guard.
Go to Churchill War Cabinet Museum
Hang out at the Christmas Festivity area in the park -Eat Fair type food while there -drink milled wine or hot cocoa and shop a little bit for Christmas. Watch the hand made crafts- or watch the kiddos playing/families ice skating. (if you ice skate-now would be a good time to go and do this).
Head over to see Les Miserable
then head home (hotel)-stop at the convenience store and or the liquor store and grab a snack-and a bottle of wine. and plan the next day. (next day planning does not work at night for group tours-plan those on your first or second morning in town).

that's about all really. We had crazier days too- where we'd grab theater tickets-go to a museum- eat a small walking lunch-go to another museum-have an Indian or Chinese dinner-and then go to the theater. Too many of those days will leave you tired and arguing so it's best to do those when you first arrive- break it up with a tour out of town (aka a sitting day) and then do it again when you get back. Keeps everyone happy-laugh.

Ohh- something new we did this year-we purchased a visa gift card and put some of our "spending money" on it - this doesn't work for more remote locations but was perfect for someplace like London. We used this spending visa card- to book our day trip to stonehedge, our theater tickets, it payed for the london eye and for the 2 museums. When the money was "gone" we knew we had to stick as close as possible to the free stuff. This card was our christmas present to ourselves- so to speak. The total value on the card was 500.00. (this did not include food and hotel). I bring this up because it might be a great way -if family wants to give you gifts- to suggest they buy you one of these. Then you can use it on your trip (sure wish we had thought of something that for our honeymoon-laugh).

Happy Travels.

5 month summary-from "mom"

2010-01-12T15:29:00.001-05:00

Wow- has it really been "only" 5 months that Habtamu and Debritu have lived with us? Evelyn's post got me thinking - sure - I've told you a lot from Habtamu's perspective- but what about as a new parent- what about bringing them home- to America. I look back and there is so much to write I'm not sure how to summarize it all.

When we first got home I felt like "what did we do"??? It was awful and I cried all of the time. I push people away when things are difficult and that's exactly what I did. That big no no- it takes a village kept running through my head-but Kimberly-what does she go and do? -She boxes up. I mostly cried in the shower- it seems to be the best place to cry- the kids don't see you and the crying part is exactly the emotional release you seem to need. These little people-I has spent the past 3 years focuses all of my dreams and desires on- wanted all of my attention-but I was not emotionally available for them. They went from living with a staff to living with us- and then Denis went back to work and it felt like it then moved onto "living with just me". I reached out to Early Intervention with Debritu and had her evaluated- she qualified. So these wonderful individuals came to help with her developmental needs- this gave me an hour 2 days a week to spend with Habtamu- who didn't speak english and was all over the house. We didn't spend much time at home. That first week Denis went back to work I drove all over New England with them in the back seat of the car. We drove and we talked. It was the only place I felt calm- "well sort of". I was emotionally exhausted. We went everywhere. People thought we were doing Okay- sure on the outside...laugh.

1 month into having them here- the kids are very social- so we put Habtamu in Summer school. This helps with Debritu's needs-and Habtamu's needs as well. School is the best thing we ever did for Habtamu- it provided him the structure and extended English practice he needed. We still ate mostly Ethiopian food and spoke a ton of Amharic-but their adjustment was going well. Mine on the other hand- wasn't going so well. I wanted out- I started struggling with getting up in the morning. Started to wonder -what did I do to my life- how could I have messed it up so badly?

2 months- I started to enjoy them more- the time I spent with them didn't feel so forced. We feel in love with the referral photos- and then with them personally while in Ethiopia-and wondered. I wondered how could I have done this to them and to myself? Was this really a mistake- but I really liked being with them- it was just still really really difficult. At the end of 2 months we started going out more... Life did start to really resemble a bit of our old lives. Hubby stuck with me- gave me evenings off - and came home with wine and flowers regularly-laugh.
3 months- Realized I hadn't been focusing on myself at all- and swore that I wouldn't do that when I became a mother. Started researching new gyms and looking for more babysitters. Started to consider daycare and work for Debritu and myself. We started to look "outside" the windows of our home and realize what was going on.
4 months- ahhh- joined the gym again, ran my first 5K in a while-realized how badly out of shape 6 months off can hurt the body that has been finding solace in Wine and Cheese-laugh. Went to the movies- with my husband- wooo hooo! Still have this aching feeling that the children have "borrowed" my best friend for a while- and I'm not sure if I'll get him back- that's still out to be determined-but It took a little while to realize how much I wouldn't see him when the kids came. Now, I either go out-or he goes out. That's the tough part of not having family around- it costs a lot to always hire babysitters.
And well- now we are into month 5 and as a family we still have a long way to go. I take deep breaths and lean on meditation to get me through the screaming children in the grocery store, try to remember compassion when listening to others-even though I am often burnt and ashamed that my mind is wandering and thankfully - I now feel that I'm ready to return to work-and that the kids are going do very well. And of course- I still question Our sanity- after all - it's worth a good laugh when I think back as to my dreams during and before our referral and realize that many have come true- and many, well many- were fabulous fantasies..

I'll end this exasperatingly long post by saying-We're getting use to being a family-and things are slowly becoming very enjoyable. I don't express how difficult it all is when I'm out -because I don't want it to be something when I do have adult time that my spare time is focused on. There is much more laughter in our home and with all the tough times- there have been a remarkable number of good times. Yes, I still cry in the shower- and I'm nervous about leaving the work I've done for the past 5 year and finding a new job-away from my husband- and life is well- confusing. But with out the changes- wouldn't we be bored? What would a life with no changes be like?

Plan on Visiting Ethiopia- use Stone Age Tour

2010-01-12T15:29:00.000-05:00

Plan on Visiting Ethiopia??

(this use to be planted at the bottom of my blog but it doesn't work with the re-design) so I've added it as a post in-case anyone is looking for the information it will be in my archives)
I have a good Ethiopian friend named Mekonnen that runs a travel company in Ethiopia. There's nothing like traveling with a local company. All of the money you spend goes back into the economy. I traveled with his company through out my stay in Ethiopia and loved every minute.

Stone Age Tour is the name of the company and his website url is:http://www.stoneagetour.com/
(scroll down below the fold on each of their pages)

If you would like to speak with him directly regarding your ideas for your next trip:
his email address is: mekonenyet@yahoo.com

Mekonnen's cell phone is: +251-0911413839

Tell him Kimberly sent ya- and he will be likely to treat you like family.

If you email it may take a day or two for him to respond because it is his personal account. If you need a quicker response- utilize the cell phone or contact us location on their website.

Happy Travels.

Prostitution and Addis Ababa

2010-01-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about Prostitution in Ethiopia for some time now. While in Ethiopia I was fascinated by the sheer number of prostitutes or sex workers lining the streets at night in Addis. It is not "formalized" like it is in Amsterdam and it is not possible to compare the two- if you are reading this from only having visited there- please understand there is a stark difference and these two locations are not comparable.

As a visiting "resident" so to speak, I did not spend much of my time on Bole or in Concorde where the more expensive housing is (thus where more expensive prostitutes are)-but traveled to areas where everyday people live. Each night -around certain buildings on my commute home- or on my way out for the evening- I'd see young women-mostly in their teens or young 20's in the streets. They would either be where one less popular road ended -along a long popular road. Or standing near a spot known for prostitution. They sometimes would yes, be on street corners but mostly- they would be hanging out along popular road ways- not usually on corners of intersections like in the movies-laugh. Sometimes they were in skirts, but a lot of the time they are in jeans too. Sometimes they'd have make up on, sometimes not.

One would easily mistake them for a girl waiting for a taxi or a ride to pick them up -if they didn't know better. Before I understood- I'd make jokes about how all the girls get dressed up at night and head out to the clubs. My implied question was-with out a joke-that I couldn't believe all these people went to the clubs on weekdays and to work the next day-the clubs don't open until 11pm and they close around 4am. It was then that I was told- "They are going to work Kimberly- not to the clubs". Ahh-to be so naive... laugh-

So, now I wanted to know how much one cost- so, I asked several of my male friends over the next month or so, to ask one of the girls how much money for an evening. Since I never walked alone at night- I had many people to ask this of-laugh. I'm not sure why, but I just needed to know. To my dismay, none of them would be seen speaking with a sex worker, and of course I could not speak with them in Amharic, so I was not able to determine the exact amount it would cost.

So, I have to be happy with what I was told, and yes, I'm still learning Amharic-laugh. **someday, I'll learn on my own.. But until then... here's what I learned. The amounts were all over the place and seemed to depend mostly on where in the city we were, what social status, where they were to be "hired from", etc. etc... My friends would ask me almost as many questions as I asked them-when I tried to figure out costs. Here's what they would tell me that they've been told by their "friends":

5 usd would buy you a pretty girl -probably healthy- for the night. 10 usd would get you a really sweeeeett likely sexy and dressed well- girl-laugh.
But you could "score" for a 1 usd if you really wanted to-but you'd be risking Aids etc. So that's the answer I got-
I've also been told that some of the Concorde girls look for 50 usd or more from Foreigners and that their are "foreigner specific" prostitutes that shop for just the visitors or NGO workers.

Once, while staying at a one of the Gov't run Addis hotels one evening-we went to a club and saw some foreigners there. At the hotel in the morning- those same Foreigners were at the hotel eating breakfast or in the hallways saying "goodbye" to some Ethiopia women who were also at the clubs. I happen to know-that these men did not arrive to the club with the women as we arrived at the same time the men did. They were prostitutes. I know some of you are thinking they "hooked up"- but they did not- these women were at these clubs every time I went (and yes I do like to dance very much and went perhaps a little more often that I would have if I was here in America) and after a little while- you too learn to recognize the girls working the rooms.

Again- on speaking with my friends about this (Ethiopian friends) it was noted that Foreigners "NGO" workers are often interested Ethiopian Women- and it is not "uncommon" to see an Older White man pay a significant amount to spend the night with a Hot Ethiopian Prostitute. As one could guess, my mouth hit the floor.

Prostitution -at this time- seems a difficult reality- for women- in Ethiopia-and an emotionally difficult "occupation" for visiting women like myself to see in practice. For myself, growing up in a world where "sexual acts" are sacred and shared with only loved ones- it's difficult for me to see so many women participating and choosing in this very difficult "career choice". But with super high family disruption rates, low graduation rate (especially for women) and 50% (aprox) unemployment rate in the country - jobs are few and far between for the uneducated. I find it difficult to swallow-so many of these woman being forced into this work to support themselves and/or their families- simply or very possibly because they have siblings and their father or mother died.

As far as "outside" of Addis- Prostitution- was not as obvious to me as it was in Addis. Although it is there, I noticed it in Mekele, Harar, Awasa, and in Bahr Dahr but there were not many girls in the streets but rather in establishments, these women (minus in Mekele) seemed older than the ones in Addis.

As for men, I asked if there were Male prostitutes-and I'm sure they are out there- but no one could point me in the direction of where to find one nor could did they seem to know a male that considered his occupation as a sex worker -although they did jokingly say they know some of their friends they would "consider" of that nature-laugh.

Alemayehu G. Mariam... a writer for the Huffington Post.

2010-01-11T16:18:00.000-05:00

Alemayehu G. Mariam... a writer for the Huffington Post.

I may not always agree with his opinions but his blog entries are thought provoking and eye opening.
You should take a moment and check it out. With their elections coming up in May I'm certain it is going to get interesting.

You can find his posts here...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alemayehu-g-mariam

Here's a bit of his bio- For the last several years, Prof. Mariam has written a weekly web commentary on Ethiopian human rights and African issues that is widely read online. He played a central advocacy role in the passage of H.R. 2003 (Ethiopia Democracy and Human Rights Act) in the House of Representatives in 2007. Prof. Mariam practices in the areas of criminal defense and civil litigation. In 1998, he argued a major case in the California Supreme Court involving the right against self-incrimination in People v. Peevy, 17 Cal. 4th 1184, which helped clarify longstanding Miranda rights issues in criminal procedure in California.

Happy Day-Kim

Growth After Adoption- year 1

2010-01-11T07:59:00.000-05:00

Habtamu has grown 6 inches in the past year and Debritu has grown 4.5 inches. He has gained 10lbs I think.
Habtamu was wearing 2T on Referral and is now in 4T pants and 5T shirts (13 months later!). Debritu was in 12 month clothing and is now in the 24month-2T range. Debritu is also in the 10lb range for weight gaine.

(The weight gain must be related to all of those runs to McDonalds when they first arrived and I couldn't juggle everything..laugh).

Today Debritu has a Sweater on that Habtamu was wearing when we were together in Ethiopia-and it's only a "little big". It's amazing to watch these children grow! Thank goodness for hand-me downs!

How do you keep Ethiopian Culture in your kids lives?

2010-01-09T12:34:00.000-05:00

The big question for us these days as we juggle preschool, everyday life, mom going back to work-etc.. is: How to keep Ethiopian Culture alive and active in our lives? How do you?

So far, our answer is - We have made it a daily part of all of our lives-and are diverse in what we do. Ethiopia is not something that is just a part of our children's heritage now- but is a genuine part of our day to day lives.

We still Cook Ethiopian food weekly-although not daily-with the fabulous help of our Neighbor making injera for us. Not sure it would be possible with out her help!!! In the past month Debritu has decided she does not like to eat with her hands -which is making this more challenging- but we just keep it going.

We just move forward with Ethiopian activities, interests and behaviours regardless of how the children "feel" that day. It is a daily part of our lives and kids change constantly. At one point Habtamu didn't want to listen to the music-but I would play my favorite songs instead of his that week. The next week he was back asking for his favorite songs. When he was saddened- we'd talk about his feelings.. or I'd redirect the discussions to Debritu.

We're still speaking Amharic as best we can-Even Denis has jumped on board. I've found surprisingly that I listen to the Amharic for Adoptive Parents still-to remind us all of some things -Habtamu finds it helpful too- as well as review some of my books. Sometimes Habtamu tells us great stories of their Ethiopian life as he listens to this cd, sometimes he doesn't want to listen to Amharic and asks me to speak English to him - or to turn on an English song. I tell him he can answer me in English but I would like it very much if he kept his Amharic. I ask him to talk on the phone with people from Ethiopia regularly.. Sometimes he doesn't want to- after all he's a kids-mostly he gets excited to do it. I just work on keeping basic greetings, words of kindness, numbers, colors and names of foods.

We listening to Ethiopian Music- dance around our living room- and watch videos. We just watched the latest Teddy concert. It was awesome to see Teddy up there after the whole Jail thing! Even though it bores the kids- we sometimes listen to the news (yes in Amharic) and I read Fortune and other news published in Enlish weekly. We talk about what's going on in the country-as well as what is going on in ours. Movies and videos online help keep the images of Ethiopia alive for the kiddos. It more or less keeps it alive for Habtamu and teaches Debritu. We celebrate the holiday's here at home and away sometimes. We make many recipes and have Habtamu help us cook.

The harder part of this- is we also keep in mind how the culture would have raised the children- although our kids are definately "spoiled" by Ethiopian standards and VERY Americanized-keeping the children in touch with the partenting nature of Ethiopia is more difficult. When I don't know something- I call our Ethiopian friends and ask... it's fun to have both perspectives-then we chose what works for us.

We've found the Ethiopian Adoptive and Ethiopian X-pat community to be great resources for continuing our work as a multi-cultural family. They both inspire us, encourage us and help us move forward with our desire to keep alive- the multicultural aspect of our "multicultural" family.

We'll be adding in some religious activities-probably mostly on holidays- and travelling to the city more when the kids stop napping at seperate times and we are a bit older.. but for now- we "keep moving forward" growing ourselves in our cultural awareness and as we learn - we're guiding the kids "as best we can".

What are you doing?
How does your family Celebrate either your adoption or the kids culture?

Ameseganalo,
Kimberly

Merry Ethiopian Christmas - Melkam Gena

2010-01-07T11:05:00.001-05:00

Merry Ethiopian Christmas - Melkam Gena

A little music for the holiday anyone?

http://www.ethiotube.net/video/7285/Selamnesh--Ale-Gena-Gena--Gonder-Music

http://www.ethiotube.net/video/993/Tigrigna-Music--Gena-Gena

Habtamu and Debritu's Great Adventure From Chuko to Massachusetts

2010-01-06T22:32:00.000-05:00

In the beginning of December, 2008 (about one year ago this week) our children were relinquested by their family and were transfered into the care and control of Woman's Affairs (a government office) in Ethiopia. People often wonder the path Ethiopian adoptive children take before they leap or are cuddled up in your arms at home.

Here is what I know of Habtamu and Debritu's great Adventure.

Habtamu and Debritu were transferred from Chuko to Awassa around December 13th then their Aunt Relequished them. The week prior to their relenquishment sounded like a memorable week of love and care as Habtamu will tell you about having dinner with his family, Yeshi (their aunt) washing their clothes and neighbors crying. They then rode on a horse to the main office in Chuko (southern states) or perhaps all the way to Awassa -then in a car to Addis (the capital). It seems from Habtamu's stories that is was in Awassa that their Aunt left them for the first time-so I am not sure how many days she was there with them but with in short time they were transferred to Addis. He tells stories of Yeshi making them fish in Awassa

Habtamu has also indicated that she went to Addis with them- so it is all a little confusing. I know however-that if it was Awassa or Addis she left- he clearly remembers the moment. Habtamu will tell you-that the last time he saw Yeshi -that he touched her tears and she turned and walked out the door.
They were later brought to Addis and placed at Horizons House. Initially seperated because Debritu was a baby and Habtamu in the big kids house. A few months at Horizons house and then the courts changed the way they were processing Adoptions and they were transfered to AB house. At AB house (a state run transition home) Yeshi (aunt) visited them and they went to court with her. Debritu was transferred to Horizons house alone- as they asked for her because I was coming to Ethiopia for some time living there-and later they approved Habtamu as he was not adjusting well without her. Habtamu has a very special bond with his sister- it's almost like he became her care-taker and it's very difficult sometimes to parent her-with him in the room-laugh. It's very endearing but also a huge responsiblity for a 3 year old.

A week later I met them. We played together for a couple of months -a few days a week-and then my husband joined me in Ethiopia. We cleared court and Denis made his travel plans. Then- he joined me in Ethiopia and 2 weeks later we came home with the children (in May 2009).

This is their journey to America... Melcome America Habtamu and Debritu.. We are thrilled that you made this long journey to our home.. and look forward to being a part of your story.

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

2010-01-06T22:26:00.000-05:00

Got out of the house tonight-with my sweets- woooo hooo--together is something we don't do very often.

So, what did we do "on a school night"- Since it was my choice- (grin) we went to see Invictus..

Invictus is apparently Latin for unconquered.

It was one of those movies that I came home from and had to look up the title and story to learn a bit more.....

Invictus... by William Ernest Henley...1875 (*but not titled by him)

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Debo Band would like to Return to Africa- check out the link.

2009-12-31T19:23:00.001-05:00

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/deboband/debo-band-returns-to-africa

New Motorist Laws in Addis

2009-12-23T15:00:00.003-05:00

Hi all,

I was talking with a friend after calling several times and they didn't pick up-laugh. Unusual... but I discovered why shortly later when they did finally pick up...

There are new motorist laws in Ethio- but in a culture where there are not enough police and yes- even I have paid off a cop instead of getting a traffic ticket- how will these laws be enforced????

It'll be very exciting to see how "quickly" this is accepted not only in the Capital- but in the other cities as well... or.. will the local police just have many more ways to line their pockets???

But.. there's no time like the present to start.... Cheers to Addis for starting to consider saving their citizens (and guests) lives!

(from Addis Fortune news: WHAT ARE THE RULES MOTORISTS IN ADDIS SHOULD OBSERVE? http://www.addisfortune.com/addisfortunenews.htm)

WHAT ARE THE RULES MOTORISTS IN ADDIS SHOULD OBSERVE?

Drivers are not permitted to drive without fastening their seatbelts anywhere in Addis Abeba. So, get used to it.

The law on mobile phone usage is clear when it comes to using headsets and Bluetooth devices, drivers are not allowed to use their mobile phones while driving.

The unconscionable act of watching movies and television while driving is now forbidden.

If drivers and passengers are accustomed to buying or giving alms on the road or at traffic lights it is time to let go of that custom, as it is the driver who will pay the fine.

Life is fragile crossing over ring-road barriers and railings as has been evidenced. And now it is an offence to the law.

The lane lines are painted white to be observed and respected; if these are not obeyed the driver will be charged.

Driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs is beyond suicidal. It can also be homicidal, so think twice before doing so. It is obligatory.

Pedestrians who cross the road disregarding the zebra crossing will be fined for the act.

Doctors without borders: "living in emergency"

2009-12-15T08:21:00.000-05:00

Went with a friend to see this. It was an excellent Documentary. Check it out if you get a chance.

Habtamu gets a haircut

2009-12-12T20:27:00.000-05:00

Denis took Habtamu - baggie in hand- to get his first American haircut. It's been 8 months since his head was shaved bald -which was just shortly after I met him. But I just love his curls-they are so long and tight and shiny. When I would put my fingers in his long soft hair my heart would ache at the thought of cutting them short.

So after a lot of whining and planning and whining and delaying-ohhh and whining some more- I finally agreed to letting Denis take him to get his hair cut. Only there were a few rules:

one he had to bring a baggie and save some of his fabulous curls,
he couldn't cut it too short
and he take lots of pictures.

While they were gone- I was like a nervous little girl distracting myself by baking cookies and heading to our church for a function:-).

And then.. While I was there-I saw this Gorgeous little boy walk in- I hopped off the stage and squealed.. Now, I just can't take my eyes off him- I'm completely smitten!!!!

Before

During...

SO Handsome!!!!

Happy Holiday Shopping!

2009-12-08T23:58:00.000-05:00

Shopping Shopping Shopping..

In November- we planned Thanksgiving Dinner for 32 people-Who knew we had so many grocers, farm stands and butchers in our area.

This month- our First Christmas with kids...and my fingers are killing me...
So far this month I've been hanging out in cyber ville-

Ahh-first I "add to my shopping cart" at Amazon-
then I "ship to store" at -ugh yes I did it-to Wallie World,
then I ohh and ahh at some "world stock" items at overstock.. oopps- another shopping cart purchase

Then I did something I haven't done in years-I ventured out to the physical world- stood in an couple of lines and experienced how miserable most of the customers are in the stores- My extroverted self is sulking back into Cyber world-but not with out a visit to the outlet stores tonight with hubby and the kiddos... (can you spell EXHAUSTED).. that was me btw-not the kids. They seem to only get tired when you don't want them too :-).

Hmm-let's see-Habtamu learned to buy things for Daddy today. I gave him a bit of money-he took his daddy's hand and bought him some Godiva Truffles. Starting the boy out correctly-don't you think? We discovered that Habtamu doesn't really like Chocolate, Debritu is willing to throw the tantrum of her life for it , and oh-wait- the lesson- Habtamu learned that he could buy things like "chocolate" with money... (OHHHH NOOOOO). And I, I managed to buy only things for myself at the outlet stores...(like matching baking aprons for Habtamu and I-laugh).

Happy Holiday Shopping Everyone.

Death and Adoption

2009-12-07T16:26:00.001-05:00

5 months after we adopted our children- introduced them to the family and spent many wonderful moments with the individuals that would be a regular part of their life- the unpredictable happened and Nana died.

We tried so hard to plan everything in these children's lives-taking the recent disruption in their lives into consideration-and wham... our family is hit with one of the most difficult times in our lives-as my husbands mother struggles in a hospital bed for5-6 weeks and eventually passes on.

This note is for you adoptive families- and not something I would normally consider publishing as it is so personal and painful.. but for your children's sake...

What we did well:

We found a social worker (asked at the hospital) that works with death and dying. Discussed our children's past and how to handle death.
Found books on the subject-thank you library!
Took Habtamu (4) to a cemetery and lightly discussed our views on death.
Talked a lot about our family-how Nana was gone from our physical lives and included his prior family in this discussion as best we could.
Talked about the future as a family
excluded the children from the wake and Funeral activities
Went to family event after funeral together as a family.
Let Debritu spend her birthday night away from us (her first with us) as the next morning was the funeral and night before the wake.
Hold their "big" joint birthday party AWAY from our home-we all had fun and there was a lot less stress that day- something we all needed
Have them make art and take it into the hospital.
Take them to the grave site right after the funeral-on our way home- and let them know that grandma was there now and we could visit her here again.
We gave Habtamu a job to hug people when they were sad. He liked this very much as he's a boy with lots of feelings and was able to help people.

What we would not do again:

used a leaf anaylage- because leafs come back-oops (there's this kids book that describes the cycle of life-didn't work so well for us).
Tell Habtamu while she was in the hospital and our hopes/doctors hopes for her recovery were high-that she was sleeping so she could get better and when she was able-we'd take her into see her.
Do a family photo shoot the day after we learned she was not going to stay with us.
Spend so much time with them in the waiting room- If we'd known it was going to be so long-we'd have found a way to disrupt their schedule less.

Things we should have done:

Hired a person to "have fun" with the kids and got more babysitters so we could "address" the difficulty in our lives prior to her death.
Explained more to the baby about what was going on- even though she couldn't speak or understand everything-sometimes we focus more on Habtamu as he is more "cognitive" of current situations.
Gone in to visit "nana" together (husband and wife).... before she passed instead of juggling the kids in the waiting room.
Remembered more about the details of what she was wearing when we buried her -even though family picked this out-because it was important to the kids.

Summary:

They knew their Nana "banana" bi-weekly visits plus Lived with us a few weeks after arrival for a short bit.

They did fine with her departure-although they were impacted and did have feelings about it.

It has not affected their adjustment-that we have noticed-although the disruption in their schedule and the influx of family (and the departure of ) did.

Handling the "nana is dead" statements can be difficult-but they grew as people and we grew as a family through this process. They saw that families can go through significant difficulty and stay together.

We tried to think of their culture and what they would have seen in terms of a funeral. We avoided all items that would "knit" these experiences- and so far (one month later) we are moving on ***as a family****.

Cultural impact of Ethiopian vital statistics bill in a non-birthday Culture

2009-11-25T08:27:00.000-05:00

In our culture age is such an important aspect of our lives we can hardly imagine not knowing when the actual date of our birth is. We celebrate the passing of birthdays with in our family similar to other national holidays. I find myself pondering the civil registration and vital statistics bill introduced to the floor by the Ministry of Capacity building and wonder-what the cultural impact on the nation would be.
We in a highly developed nation know that vital statistics would be fantastic for supplying aid and infrastructure planning-but this bill is being introduced in Addis where celebrating birthdays is widely accepted and a part of their more modernized lifestyle. What would the impact on the average rural Ethiopian be (remember-the majority of Ethiopian population is not in Addis)?

Would there be new offices built in the rural areas-would there be tax implications-would people feel more like "big brother is watching"...there are these fear factors for some, but mostly- I sit here with a grin on my face and simply consider the cultural pros and cons. (a pro for the adoption world- actual birth certificates).

I think of the farmer-with is 10 children- celebrating the births of his/her children-with a huge grin-The image I have is an older candle lit in the middle of a piece of injera or a false banana like kocho or enset (laugh) sitting in the middle of the table- and the family and neighbors singing their local dialect of Happy Birthday with big grins. I can't help but smile at this image-laugh. How would one feel when they know their actual age and then also know the life expectancy in the area they life in? How would being young and getting older change-after all you are now "measuring your life". How would the woman, who in most of Ethiopia, does not tell her age to anyone-now feel-about everyone on her marriage, death, and birthing knowing her actual age-laugh.

http://www.addisfortune.com/Bill%20to%20Require%20Documentation%20of%20Births,%20Marriages,%20More.htm

Celebrating the little things..

2009-11-17T07:42:00.000-05:00

It's H week at Pre-school. Habtamu had to bring something in that Started with the letter H! (grin).

First Adoption of our Family Turns 7. Happy Birthday Love!

a note on.. Becomming a mom

2009-11-02T11:02:00.001-05:00

Hey- would you believe I've been a mom for 6 months now? Or should I say- are you kidding- it's only been 6 months?? Seriously- only 6 months.

Becoming the parent was the easy part- thinking back to how difficult I found the "wait" and filling out the paperwork, and then the wait and the paperwork and the wait.. did ohh-and did I say wait-laugh. The lack of information through the whole process as the years and months passed was very difficult- especially after I saw the children's photos. But then one day- that day I'd been dreaming of- with my heart racing- I went to visit the orphanage-to meet, to touch my little angles I've been imagining for so long. That day was beyond anything I could have imagined and every day since has followed in those footsteps. Getting on the plane and "becoming a mom" was the easy part- each day since "feeling like a mom" has been much much more difficult.

The highs are as high as I've experiences as are the lows....and the in-betweens are full of laughter and grinding my teeth. Is everyday good- no of course not-but the good moments outweigh the challenges- even it the good lasted 10 minutes and the remaining balance of the day terrible. Is it getting easier- sure it is.. I find every couple of months- I think to myself- we feel like a family now. Of course, I still recall what my life was like before they joined us- and I treasure those days- sometimes wondering why I didn't treasure them even more when we had them.

But mostly- I've enjoyed watching Denis grow into a father, I've enjoyed feeling and reflecting on the changes in myself as I "become a mom"- and the amount the children have changed is no other word but "shocking"! I've learned to laugh -at everything- from poop on the carpet, the mistakes I make, the mistakes they make... I just laugh... oh and when I'm not laughing I breath deeep very very deeep..I've never inhaled so much oxygen.

So in a nutshell - I've learned that "becomming" a mom to two toddlers at the same time is about letting go and when I can't "let it go" -I've learned to privately cry or put myself in a time out. I've learned to try not to "sweat the big or the small stuff". It's simply about letting go of everything- and just going with the flow of things. Yes, this means you will use items that later will not be determined "safe", yes they will see a movie- you would perhaps later "wished you didn't show them", you will say things and teach them things- you shouldn't have. Yes-other peoples kind suggestions will get exhausting, and on some days other people's stares or comments will "get to you". Yes, they will puke on your leather seats, and on your cloth ones, and in your bed and drool in your mouth. You will learn how to do dishes and laundry like never before (you will find that parenting is more than 60% cleaning up after the children-only now you'll find you sing while you are doing it). They will drive you crazy absolutely crazy and when you've reached your limit- they'll push you off the cliff- of course you might hear them add in an Ooooppps.. as you're falling. You'll learn a new respect for your family and loved ones and wonder how you ever survived your own childhood.

Some of the best parenting advice I've been given is "throw away all of the sharpies"- "wing it while being the best you can be", and "laugh often". I've failed at all of these-but I've learned as I messed up, I've laughed while falling off the cliff, and I've forgiven myself for my mistakes.

My time out's over- back to parenting...

Referral photo - December 2008

Opening Gifts from 2 and 4 Birthday Party - October 2009

Thinking.. Dreaming.. planning my next Walkabout...

2009-10-15T16:20:00.000-04:00

The term Walkabout comes from the Australian Aboriginal. The idea is that a person can get so caught up in one's work, obligations and duties that the truly important parts of one's self become lost. From there it is a downward spiral as one gets farther and farther from the true self. A crisis situation usually develops that awakens the wayward to the absent true self. It is at this time that one must go on walkabout. All possessions are left behind (except for essential items) and one starts walking. Metaphorically speaking, the journey goes on until you meet yourself. Once you find yourself, you sit down and have a long talk about what one has learned, felt and done in each other's absence. One talks until there is nothing left to say -- the truly important things cannot be said. If one is lucky, after everything has been said and unsaid, one looks up and sees only one person instead of the previous two.
-Source Unknown

5 months in America- a note from Habtamu

2009-10-08T16:14:00.001-04:00

Hello Everyone-

I'm thrilled to tell you all that I'm turning 4 soon and I'm soo excited. We get to sing the "Happy Birthday song with Habtamu" in it. I've been practicing and I hope you have too! This month we went apple picking- you pick fruit called an apple off of a tree- peel the skin off with your teeth and spit it out. Becareful though- if you spit the peeling out in the house, in the car or onto the floor of the classroom- you get into trouble. I've learned to ask mom to peel them for me- it saves mom's smile. She gets this aweful look on her face when I spit the peels out. When we got home we ruined the apples by putting them into bread -something called a pie. It was aweful and I'm not sure why we did that to the perfectly yummy apples.

Debritu says my name... Haaammuuu. And each time she does my heart melts. I can't help but hug her when she says it. It's amazing to watch her learn to speak. I've started to teach her words-especially the ones I've learned. It's fun to watch her try to say phrases- she sounds like a monkey.. ohhhh ahhhh uhhh ohhhh- Haaa mmuuuu (I think she's saying I love you- can't you hear it?).

Daddy went on an airplane to a place with an animal's name. I'm a little confused by this- Daddy says I'm going to Buffalo. It's an animal that looks like a cow and I'm taking an airplane. The important stuff is he came home and he called me before bed time to say goodnight. The phone call went like this "hi daddy, are you on an airplane?". Daddy laughs. I make daddy laugh a lot-he's easy.

I'm learning how to write my letters -but mom says they are mostly "upside down". It's confusing this up and down stuff but I can draw an H, A, B, T, little a and U. I find the M difficult. I have been learning to write my ABC's. See- AAAAAA BBBBBBB CCCCCCC see... "I show you" a like this up, down, across. B- looks like glasses, a C-.. seeeeeeee.... from the bottom you go like this- is that right???

This month has been full of school and sitting in this room at this place where we get cookies and there are lots of people in white coats/gowns (like in Ethiopia) walking around. Mom says we're at a hospital. I keep looking for my doctor but mom says he's not there. No Doctor Dave either. I'm confused-none of my doctors are here. Mom says Nana is still sleeping. I have to wonder why she needs so much sleep and why daddy has been so sad lately. Nana is amognal.. or sick I've been told-but apparently she really likes her sleep. The hospital has good cookies and mom gets us the cookies and chocolate milk to eat and drink when we are there in the room where we have to "BEEEEE GOOOOD". If there are not many people we also get to watch TV- sometimes the monkey (singero) named george is playing. But the best part of going to the hospital is one of the woman in the parking garage speaks Amharic. Actually there are lots of Ethiopian's in the garage. One of them has my sister's name- DEBRITU. I am so excited when we see her. She is very nice.

Mom has started to tell me I need to learn to "listen"- and she points to her ear. When I listen I don't always understand what people are saying- I think it's better to talk. Talking is fun- you should try to do it all day long. People respond in a strange way when you've been talking a lot- they start to go "un hun, or yup, or yes dear, or just a minute.. or Habtamu- please...." Definitely try it-it's much better than listening-and be sure to repeat each sentence 3-4 times at a minimum. It helps you think of the next thing to say before you stop talking. It also keeps Debritu from getting the attention since everyone says "ooohhh she's soo cute"- of course I agree though- she is sooooo cute- after all she's my sister.

We Celebrated Ethiopian New Year (Melcome addis ahmet) in Boston -I got to wear my cornjo libs (ethiopian clothes) and had a Mescal Celebration (melcome beal) at our friends house. Our friend has some children but also has a dog named Pongo. I like Pongo very much- he went to the park with us a few weeks ago. At pongo's house we roasted marshmallow in the rain. Why can I run and play in the rain and eat candy-but mom won't let me ride my bike in the rain. I'd sleep with my bike if I could-at least keep it in my room at night so I could hug it when I wake up-but mom says it stays outside.

Well, we haven't seen our friends much this month but I've gotten to know more kids at school and mom says many of them will be at our Birthday party. I can't wait to sing the birthday song with you.

Hugs and Love,
Habtamu

sleep baby (ies) sleep

2009-09-23T13:44:00.000-04:00

Sleep Baby Sleep.. a cute little lullaby. It's a quiet afternoon here- which is very unusual-now a-days it always feels like the circus is in town-and living at my house! Do you have a picture of you sleeping as a child? I have lots- perhaps it's the only time I stood still long enough for my family to take pictures- who knows (grin)- but I couldn't resist sneaking in - and stealing a little reminder for myself- "look they really can be quiet sometimes" .

Sleep, baby, sleep
Your father tends the sheep
Your mother shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams for thee
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep

Sleep, baby, sleep
Our cottage vale is deep
The little lamb is on the green
With snowy fleece so soft and clean
Sleep, baby, sleep
Sleep, baby, sleep

still grateful for Autumn.. after all this time

2009-09-22T11:34:00.000-04:00

Happy Autumnal Equinox Everyone!
This year, the autumnal equinox happens today at exactly 5:19 PM in New York City.

I've been privileged to call New England my permanent residence for most of my life, a place where Autumn is marked by a dance of the most amazing colors. Simple things like letting the dog out-are a treat. You look out the window- and wow- there it is.. colors in the horizon from the rising sun and a sprinkle of color in the trees- bright reds, oranges-peeking out around the green-trying to be seen. Your whining dog reminds you to open the door-and let her out- and a burst of cool (if not cold) whips across your face- and whooo- you thing- Ughghgh I'm not ready for winter and hurry the dog out.

Later in the day- you notice how green everything still is. How the flowers in the yard are still blooming and the lawn still needs mowing-but yet- there's this hint of color that with each bit of rain and cool night-brings about more and more color.

People are outside planting their mums and putting out dried corn stocks, gourds and pumpkins on or around the doorsteps. You start thinking *(panic) about all of the work you need to do on your home before winter comes. You inspect the roof- will it survive? You call the guy to blow out your sprinkler system, clean our your gutters, bring in the patio furniture, and mow the lawn. Listen to the children hustle off the school buses. You know that by Halloween there will be lot's of color and leaves to crunch under your feet (oh and rake rake rake), you have flowers to cut back.. as you prepare the grounds and home for winter.

But for now- we relish in the sunshine. Enjoy a run in the neighborhoods or a nice walk with the dog or family, go apple picking or visit a agricultural fair and listen to the never-ending sound of people using hammers. A reminder that winter is coming.

As evening comes- you burn a candle and become grateful for your heating system (and the sneezing that comes with it from the dust that settled over summer) . You start making more "baked" meals- waking your abandoned stove up-as you begin preparing it for daily winter use. The sun is setting earlier in the day and you will see - the gorgeous colors of a sunset -a back drop to the dance the light breeze is encouraging from the brightly colored leaves. Then maybe you start a fire in the fireplace (after you've had it cleaned) and recipes start to spin in your head- yummy things like cookies, pumpkin cheese cake and apple pie-along with wholesome things like roasted chickens, pot roasts and beef stew make your tummy rumble. Of course, there's also chicken soup recipes for that first round of illnesses. You retire the white wine and lemonade and start thinking about robust reds and apple cider.

Autumn in New England is yes- enjoyable in a painting- so many artists have displayed this in their works, but to to see the leaves dancing, to feel the cold rush of morning air, to taste it in a freshly picked apple and to listen to leaves crackle under your feet, makes it truly is a gift and a wonderful place to grow up, age and well... grow old.

A great organization- a wonderful project- Fundraising Banquet

2009-09-17T08:43:00.000-04:00

If you know anyone in the Seattle area- this is a wonderful organization hosting a Fundraising Banquet to fund a newly opened hospital in Ethiopia. Please pass this information on. http://www.bluenile.org/

4 months in America- A note from Habtamu

2009-09-14T13:25:00.000-04:00

Mom said it was about time for me to write another note. This month we spent a lot of time outside.

We went to the zoo a couple more times-it's interesting this zoo place. We go and mommy spends money to see animals that are native to my homeland. We see Monkey's from Awassa, Camels from the Afar regio-only with out the grumpy Afar people protecting them. I got to ride a camel here in America. I had not had this opportunity in Ethiopia-they are bouncy bouncy when you ride them. Many of the animals- the crocodiles, the wild boars, the lions, the other monkeys, the donkeys and the sheep/goats are all from Ethiopia. It's funny that they keep working animals and the animals we eat in cages to pet. I wonder if they will ever eat them? Mommy always tries to use the amharic name and the english name of the animals. It's fun to see these animals so close up and not have to shoo them off the dining table because they want my injera as we had to do with the little monkeys in our village- or run away when we see them (like the lions). I didn't like when the lions were around- or when the bad weather came because we'd sometimes bring the cow (s?) inside our house. Here the horses do dances and run in circles jumping over things. In Ethiopia they are like cars here. We ride them and go to places on them. It's very strange this dressing up your horses and making them run in circles around crowds of people for them to clap.

I started a new school- well actually it's the same school but mom and dad made this big deal of finishing "summer" and it being "fall". So I guess this is my new "fall" school. There are some changes though-Miss G- has to pay attention to more children- so I have to speak LOUDER to be heard, there are more children to ride the bicycles- so I don't really get to ride anymore and now I eat lunch with the other kids instead of Kako and mom. There are some great things though- more kids means more friends and some of my "summer" friends are still there. "Crazie"... is still there. Everyone always says her name after I say it "Gracie" .. but I'm not sure why.. I then have to say.. "that's what I said "Crazie". Well, she is funny and I like her a lot. Here's a picture of me making the most of my bicycle time at home.

Also, we've been to some birthday parties-but they don't have the fireworks that the American b-day party did-but you get to play with other children-just like at the park only in somebody's back yard or in their house-and you get to eat bread with lots and lots of sugar (cake) and sometimes frozen milk (ice cream).

I went to the tooth doctor again- and this time- he removed all of the brown on my front teeth. Daddy asked him not to give me any needles and the dentist said- "he would try".. it was so much better. It tickled a lot. When I was all done- I did not cry- and daddy and mommy seemed so surprised. They kept saying over and over "and he did it with no novicane"... or something like that. I was very excited and went to school the next day to show off my new teeth.

Debritu has started to talk, and talk. I'm sure you've seen the video- Kako this and Kako that... So, now I have to talk more. I try to make it so I'm still getting all of the attention but she sure is making it difficult. Mom went to the doctors for Debritu's warts and she was kind of upset that after months of waiting (I hear her speaking on the phone) that they told her to use something called Duck Tape to cover them. If it will work on her warts- can we also put it on her mouth?? It was better when she wasn't talking. Now she's always telling me "no no no". Although- it is better than the biting thing she was doing last month. Hurting my feelings is much better than biting me.
Mom has started putting veggies in everything- she says she wants me to eat them-but she seems to not understand that I can pick them out. Someday she'll get the message that "I don't want them". And there's something about getting bigger if I eat them- but I'm questioning this- I've learned that somethings when they get big- it's very painful. I do like drinking from the boxes in America. It's funny that you all drink from boxes with straws- but did you know if you blow into the boxes you can make the drink come up the straw and spray everywhere. It's quite fun- you should try it.
Everone that is young and old- seems to call me Hamu. Guess somehow- I've lost the bta... somewhere along the way- I keep telling people "I don't like it" but someday they will get the rest of my name.. I guess 3 sylables are just to hard for Americans?? I'm not sure but my mom's name is "Kim-ber-ly" and everyone calls her Kim- so maybe it's true. - Only time can tell.
I have noticed that the words we use at school are different than the words we use at home for things. Mom says it's important for me to keep or learn as much Amharic as possible-but sometimes I find it confusing. Mom and Dad both say it's okay- and that it will come with time and lots of practice. But I have to now stop saying "I want" and change it to "may I have". They say "may I have" is more "polite" and that it's important to be a "polite" boy. Not sure what that is... but It makes them happy so I'll give it a try-I like to hear the words "good boy" -they make me smile and laugh.
Kako has tried to pee in the potty a couple of times this month- but it's pretty disgusting when she does. She pees and then uses the soft (toilet paper) to dip it into the pee and then wash her legs with it. YUCK.... mom really has to help her with this- it's disgusting-but it's better than drinking the toilet water- at least now she's just playing in it!!!
There so many interesting things in America...mom says our adventure is just starting.. but the food. The food is sometimes yummy but mostly not. I'll keep eating auntie J's injera and my mom's Ethiopian Families berber...

Hugs to you all- and Happy Ethiopian New Year!!!
Love,
Habtamu

a new "do" and a few family pics...

2009-09-04T17:02:00.000-04:00

New Hair do... I went very short -with colors-"Blue", "Yellow" and "Brown" ...

"Hairdresser- Kimberly- we have the blue you've asked about in the past."
Kimberly "psych, let's do it".
Hairdresser- are you prepared for people to stare at you?" ,
"The parents at the new pre-school are at least going to look at you- "-giggle.
"Kimberly, People already stare when we are out as a family"
"Hairdresser- are you serious?? People stare at you guys when you are out???
"Kimberly, I think it's innocent, they are just curious. Perhaps they are considering- could I have bilogically had the children. I think inter-racial adoption sometimes takes a minute or so for some to process." "Perhaps they are thinking about how "tall, dark and handsome" their father must be If I did biologically have them after all- they are adorable children.."
Joined- laughter.. "hairdresser- alright, how much blue should we do?"

The morning before the new hair do- we took some family pictures in our yard...

Where where you 7 Years Ago Today?

2009-09-03T14:18:00.000-04:00

The Paradox of our age

2009-08-28T16:23:00.002-04:00

When I came home from Ethiopia last year- I found an emptiness in my life that I could not explain. I was shocked to find that I had returned to Massachusetts with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I no longer saw my life in the same perspective. It was a long journey before I again made peace and comfort in my feelings regarding our opportunist lifestyle here. Much of what I found in our lives is nicely summarized in a well known speech by the XIVth Dalai Lama.

A few months after finding solice and comfort again in my American life- I returned to Ethiopia. And again- it is still the same words that I find understanding in-the same words that help me find an inner balance. As I read it this time though, I think of my children and how can I teach them to best bridge these two worlds so that they can not only "be the best they can be" but also include teachings about inner balance.

I hope you take a moment to consider them- and perhaps it inspires some "random act of kindness" on your part:

The Paradox of our Age- by the XIV Dalai Lama

"We have bigger house and smaller families;
more convenience, but less time.
We have degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less healthiness.
We have been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet our new neighbor.
We built more computers to hold more information,
to product more copies than ever,
but have less communication.
We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion;
tall man and short character;
steep profits, and shallow relationships.
It is time when there is much in the window,
and nothing in the room."

The past few weeks a photo review

2009-08-14T11:49:00.005-04:00

One crazy moment at the sox game.

Go Sox- with Auntie Katie

Hanging at the beach with George and his daddy..
oops- yes Debritu's overalls are on backwards.

Habtamu riding his bike.

Waiting in the Rain for Habtamu to finish his swimming lesson

Waiting for Habtamu on a sunny day to finish swim lesson

Waiting with Yordanos

Soccer/T-Ball Camp

Spending time at home with Yordanos - awwwhhh

3 month update from Habtamu

2009-08-10T09:07:00.003-04:00

I've been living in America for 3 months now. In those 3 months- I've visited my Nana "egger quase" house in Maine, My aunt and uncle's "tinish bate" in New Hampshire and Habtamu's home in Massachusetts. There are many different kinds of homes in America- some small, some big-but they all have bathrooms with showers or a way to bathe indoors. Some have many different ways to take a bath- some you wear clothes and some you do not-There are big bowls of hot or cold water outside (they call this swimming or a hot tub and there is no soap). Then there's also sometimes cold showers next to these big bowls of water. Sometimes the bathrooms indoors have only showers, only baths but most have both.

Debritu likes to try to drink the toilet water-YUCK- I think she learned this from our dog Geneva. Oh and the toilets all make this big noise-the ones in the places people bring you food and you have to be quiet in- mom calls them "rest-au-rants". When you back up to them go poop- they keep making this noise-a flushing sound- over and over and over. It's very funny!!! To he constant noise and water on your but makes it hard to concentrate. Mostly you have to pull something, or push something- but they are in-doors, you sit on them and they flush only once. There seems to be no standing squat toilets. If you have to go while riding in the car- they encourage you to pee on the trees. Otherwise- you use the indoors.

It's very difficult to find time to write these days- the rain has finally stopped and I'm busy riding my bike, visiting with family and going swimming. Mom says that this kind of weather does not last long where I now live-so I have to spend all my time outside. Personally, I think she wants us outside so we don't "mess up the house". I hear this sentence a lot- not sure exactly what it means but it comes out as "go in your play room before you "mess up the house" - or something like that- it's usually when she's trying to cook- and won't look at me because I'm trying to show her something. If I say Mom Mom Ma.. Mom. Mommy.. Momeye... etc a thousand times she eventually looks up- but it's not always a "pretty" look she gives me and I forget what I was going to say. I wish she'd just look everytime the first time so I'd stop forgetting.

Debritu has learned to bite, spit, and scream and say no, no, no- she gets in trouble with these words and actions. I've learned to do this thing called a "time out".. not sure what it's all about yet- but I stand in the corner-when mom is angry.

Oh- I asked Dad for a sheep yesterday. Mom and dad looked me with surprise and asked- do you want one to eat it? I had to explain that it would lick my face and live in the house like Geneva does. They didn't pick one up on our way home from the farm we were invited to visit yesterday- but I have hope- maybe today- daddy will bring that sheep home. Until then- I'll just keep telling mommy everything... mommy, mommy, mommy...

Soccer camp, swimming camp and school are fun-well- my sisters screaming- my mom said we have to think about leaving to go swimming (wanna) and I have to put my cars away.

I'll write again soon -
Habtamu