Out of the loop..and just "realizing it"

I found myself reading other people's blogs tonight along with some of the yahoo groups I belong to-regarding Ethiopia and Adoption.  It's been a year since I've dedicated time to this, and wow,  to my surprise-life has been happening all around me-laugh. 

I'm delighted to see some new blogs, and to view pictures of children from those that I encountered while waiting.  

Sure sure.. like most- I counted the months, days, weeks, sometimes breaths of the days we waited.  While we "impatiently" waited we checked off the list of things we had to do before the kids came, and we scrutinized everything about Ethiopia and Adoption.  I officially wore out my "refesh" button- F5-F5-F5-F5-F5 nothing new.?? close window- open it again-log in.. F5-F5-F5-F5-F5..phew 15 minutes passed- maybe something now... F5-F5-F5-F5-F5 for 20 months or so..laugh.

Then something happened..something nutty..... We actually went ahead and adopted kids.  

Like most I know,  I totally crawled inside my home and was shocked ... laugh.. no seriously shocked at what just happened to "my" life.  Are you kidding me- I'm now in "charge" of two kids?  Seriously- how did that happen??  What were they thinking?? Somebody-lot's of somebodies.. said we'd be good people to become a parent to two children at the same time- yeah me and him...  two kids.. no seriously??? What were we thinking... What were they thinking???  

Somebody once said to me- "god won't give you anything you can't handle".  Now, I don't know where I stand on my belief in god (or my disbelief for that matter).. but this saying has been in my head for the past year - every-time I hit my limit I hear it... Much like my other little mantras...  Recently, I just shared it with a new friend of mine-perhaps it's helping or haunting her too-perhaps if you are in our shoes- it will help you too. 

so-It seems every 3 months I'd get disillusioned- I'd convince my husband- we're not doing so bad-etc etc..Look we can go to the zoo. Look we can take a shower...  

3 more months..Look we can handle family visiting and juggle school schedules. 

3 more months- hey let's take a trip???? oops....

3 more months- I'm actually back to reading other peoples blogs..yes.. that's my big disclaimer today. It does seem like a simple thing-  looking at other people's blogs and reading yahoo groups- that use to be something I did in my down time.   Now, I think.... what is down time exactly???  Taking time to search the web-it's the last thing I have time to do..laugh. 

Well -here I am- yet one more stretch ... I'm actually searching the net, kids are sleeping. and Yes, I'm  reading your blogs and it feels GREAT. Yet to me- it's one more simple step toward a life that feels more balanced.   

Your blogs feel like a breath of fresh air- a chance to capture a moment back of what was once so simple....  

So, thank you all for keeping up your blogs and I can't wait to catch up on your  beautiful lives!