The days on the long road of one families Ethiopian Adoption

This blog started out as a way to record the twists, turns, highs and lows in my families journey to adopt siblings from Ethiopia. Now our children are home and we have just finished celebrating our first year as a family.

I'm Kimberly (or Fendesha), an adventurous person who aspires to be a vagabond- but for now- I spend all of my free time travelling and my down time thinking of travelling. I'm a mom of 3 (the oldest being my gorgeous canine companion), a IT project manager, and on occasion I find myself the primary writer of this blog.

Happy Reading and thank you for stopping by.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Norway Bound

It's the usual craziness that surrounds Christmas time. Last weekend celebrated the holiday at my mother's house and then Monday night with Den's family (his mom the weekend prior). All of our shopping is done and our work almost completed (Denis working late and sleeping little as always before our holiday trips). I'm doing the usual- last minute packing- speaking of- shouldn't I start instead of blogging? Ahh.. I have our passports out and our itinerary printed. Ohh and as of 5:00 the gifts in a suitcase. The rest- I've never been one for craziness prior to a trip. I like to just figure out that day what I'm taking or the night before and go. So many people worry about buying everything they could possibly need but as you travel you learn- commerce is everywhere and it's part of experiencing a culture.. So-outside of medications when I know I can't get them (ie: norway) I don't worry to much. If you can't live a few weeks with out something- how did you get this far??

Well off to eat dinner, pack, a little more work and then to Norway. Will we really increase the size of our family next year? Will the adoption be finalized by Christmas next year so we can spend it Norway again, will we want to? Will we be home with children yet?? Only time can tell - in the meantime I guess the only option we have is to fun!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Km and Denis

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ethiopia Week

Last week seemed to be Ethiopia week for us and the rest of the Central Ma adoptive families group. We all crammed a few months of activities into one week (Sunday-Saturday). "how is it that some Sundays- I wonder what is it that I accomplished that prior week- what difference is it that I made in somebody's life, who did I make smile? did I smile? Did I notice that friend in need, did I listen to you, and then other weeks- I laugh, I dance, I sing, I'm listening to you, I'm making a difference?"
  • Cooking Ethiopian food for the first time (and adventurously sharing it with 10 people-laugh). Denis did an amazing job.. I did a well 50% amazing job.
  • A grown up adoption support group at our house for families with Ethiopian connections- *(my how the central MA area is growing- 4 families with referrals at the meeting- How exciting). It's such a privilege to be a part of and watch these families grow and expand.
  • The Boston Ethiopian Group Children's Christmas party. (The kids are growing up so fast)!
  • Rwandan Orphan Choir-Wow! a great show. Have you heard of Meme Stevens yet? You just have to hear this song (get tissues):

A note on the referral process: This week I learned that the referral process is not always a happy and wonderful experience because you become attached and feel a social responsibility questioning should you give them family money - and keep the child in it's culture? Why does money allow me to have your baby- am I stealing this child because I was born in a different location? With such a heavy heart you move forward into adopting after waiting for this "joyous" moment of finding out you are going to be a parent.. I think it's something many families are not prepared for those emotions that come with a referral.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Tomorrow 6 months waiting

Hi All,
I haven't written in this blog for a while. Actually I'm pretty certain no one is reading it- I tend to keep it pretty sterile and have been thinking about that. Why do we hide our personal lives so much more than others? So I've decided to write a somewhat personal one today.

Tomorrow we'll have been waiting for a referral for 6 months. As you all know- we truly started the adoption process (signed the application with an agency is the date we select to say "truly started" in April of 2006). There was a lot of agency research before that date so if you wonder when we started that- it was probably at fall of 2005)- but enough said.

In the past month we've started to struggle a little bit. First our friends/family that learned about our adoption and then later on found out they were pregnant are having their babies. I feel terrible that I'm struggling with it-but our day will come.

We've been so vested in Ethiopia that I'm kind of embarrassed to say we took a look at DSS late last month. We've been giving some consideration to raising our age range and with that comes the feeling that we needed to look around at our local situations. We'll that experience went absolutely no where. I can't believe the experience I had- after 8-12 phone calls I finally found the right person to chat with and she didn't have any listening skills at all. It's a long negative story that I don't want to remember at a later date- if you need to know more- email me- I'll be happy to vent- but basically- I'm back to completely understanding that US adoption options really suck- and since there is some sort of gov't program that at least provides a bit for them- I'll stick with international. I mean who in their right mind is going to take a couple of children when they want to adopt that may be removed from their home. I asked for % of risk based on past experience- they have nothing. I swear- it's hard to believe any of these people we've met in the social working field ever got out of college- It's been a disgusting experience to say the least. Okay- enough on that. Very angry yet again at a US social program and willing to move where there are not any it seems- call me nuts- I'm sure I am. I'm at the very least angry.

So- in the past few months we've decided we need a web developer for the Ethiopian culture camp website- I'm just not interested in doing it- and Denis is struggling for free time as it is.

We are trying to help the Central MA Yahoo Group meet and get to know each other better. Had the first parent meeting last night- and 4 of the families had a referral. The energy was just amazing- and we totally needed it.
We are also hosting the showing of Black Gold at our local Church (Northboro - UU- 7pm on Dec. 7th). Hopefully quite a few people will join us.

We've decided on a color for the play room, sponsored a DSS Child's Christmas.. etc.

Anyone out there have a convertible bug and 2 children? I'm beginning to think it's going to be a bit of a clown car-but with it almost paid off and I don't really like it - I really want to find a stroller that will fit in the trunk so the kids can trash it- as they seem to have all my friends cars- and then when they are older- I can replace it with a nice clean one :-). With a 2 year old car - just about paid off- I'm not really excited about taking on any new loans. Especially since we should be barreling our money into our house -given the market conditions.

Well- that's my blog for today. It's a bit more personal..

6 months with probably 6 more to go...

Meme Stevens- Beautiful Song- get Kleenex

Oh the places I've Been (and might go again)